I liked it, personally. The repetition of some lines was appreciated, and I really think it shows talent. However, with something like this; "all I hear is a whisper. All I hear is a whisper" I am sure you could develop something that would make the two similar, yet not completely the same. Overall, I enjoyed the piece. I think if you made a reference to a certain mood, season, or feeling, it could catch more relation with certain people. Thanks for the read!

It took a few reads to catch the meaning, and I am probably not the first to say that your structure is indeed unique. I struggled with the last part moreso than the former, but this piece is something you could definitely develop into something very enjoyable. If you have any other work like this, I would not mind reading it at all. I've rarely encountered style like this, and really like it. For example, your reversal of common structure is very cool, and even though it took some time to wr...

It is not a bad piece, and exhibits many creative tools to enhance it. I was not aware fully whether the 'snap' was to be done as read or with the hand, but either way it was...entertaining. I am sure that this could be developed into something greater, however I would try reading this in front of a live audience as to get an idea of what to improve. There are a few grammatical errors, but nothing that could not be fixed within a few minutes. Also, I would try to merge some of the lines, or f...

I think you have a good start to something that should be much longer. I tried to find some sort of pattern aside from lines, but I think that in order to find some sense of rhythm, lengthening would assist.