KisaMogwai's profile
AGE:
35
LOC: Englewood, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 29
LOC: Englewood, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 29
quite simply…i write what i would want to read…one of the only rules i tend to follow…
but it seems to work out sometimes…
i welcome all reviews and comments…
whether i’m made famous or infamous by my efforts is neither here nor there for me…
i am happy to be read at all…
as for understanding..i’ll not ask for the improbable..
i feel like what i wrote today is usually vastly different from yesterday’s spiel so if you’d like to know which ones i recommend for an overall view of my writing i’d have to suggest the following 5 poems…in no particular order…Day 2: The Moth Saga, Stifled, A Soul Deconstructed, Marionette, and Hunk O’ Burnin’ Love for those into a much darker topic…
if you wish to know more..find me at…
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lithium ...and she sings conflicted dares at dreaming tries to find the out-from-under inconsolable, her love won't stop her from "can't help but wonder"... ( how much, for time, can she unravel take for granted, wilted wither find that feeling right behind and become anything, but bitter? ) ...stare the past down, heated gaze do listen, for the chilling whisper a jaded bullet, love withstands defiant wordings keep him with her... ~P. Bloodsworth 2008
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18 Reviews
12 Comments
Kisa/Haiku If I were a god I'd have way too much fun with Nat'ral disasters P. Bloodsworth 2004
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17 Reviews
18 Comments
Haiku Barely Breathing Is there any point To this life which carries me Away into death P. Bloodsworth 2004
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Operation Vendetta it started in September the scent first wafted in asbestos laden entrails and the ashen taste of sin a screaming sense of vertigo explosions from within years later they're still finding what would lie beneath the skin an evil emanation prevented questions being asked and those would-be redeemers now wish they had worn masks and it became a duty to seek out and destroy ANY, one might deem a threat, to what had been enjoyed played and replayed images smatter the t.v. the tel...
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3 Reviews
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Online Love MseekinF: Wanna chat? (well how about that, another wanton hover. I've known you for two seconds but...) BirdofPrey: Of course, I'll be your lover! MseekinF: Hey, you wanna be my prey? BirdofPrey: Heh, aren't you so sweet? (I'll slap that smugness from your face and then your heart I'll eat!) he then says... MseekinF: Do you have a pic? BirdofPrey: Sure :) (but it's not me, but then, what do you care? It's not my mind you see) MseekinF: Are you a dom or are you a sub? (Will you be...
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i really like how this starts out..and it flows really great.. i can definitely imagine it being shared as spoken word on a stage... i wonder if you would have said 'd.i.y.' or 'do-it-yourself'? but i think i can tell you were tired when you wrote this... you seem to 'lose it', in a way, at the end... "...in a vein on the wrist that writes these words to you know?" (...'now?'...'you, ya know?') what were you meaning to say here? slight typo with pretend...and the ending..seems a bit weak in c...
i really enjoyed reading this.. just a couple of suggestions:) in the line "But then again, the worlds just so, " you are saying the 'world is just so'... so i would either add an apostrophe to 'world's' or say 'the world is just so' and the comma after the word 'so' is unnecessary... also.. in the line "Your facials and gestures convey your choice"... 'facials' are a cosmetic treatment..not an expression... a possible suggestion for this line that would adhere to the meaning you are going fo...
i'm wondering if maybe this shouldn't have been submitted as a quote...or even shortened to a haiku format..as it is..sorry, but for me..it's not very poetic...now as a quote...my rating would be much higher
since this poem is an experiement in -ing ending lines..it serves its purpose well...the imagery you create is very kool and inviting...but for submission as an actual poetic venture i think you would want to break away from the -ing endings...in the last line you need to change the 'is walking' to 'are walking'...because you are talking about 2 people.. a man is walking...but a man and child are walking...i also had a bit of a problem with forming, following pitter-pattering...interrupted th...
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