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LA_Alirie's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: Moorpark, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 20
LOC: Moorpark, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 20
Fantasy writer, two-time NaNoWriMo-er, homeschooled child and internet freak.
Hooray I’m back. Thank you for your patience, I am now available to review your work.
Items
Version 1
20 Reviews
14 Comments
A man is watching in the shadows. What am I doing? I am pushing Jocelyn.The man disappears. It does not matter. I look at Jocelyn, reach out to touch her as she grins at me. She frowns. I snap my hand back. "Ty 'Ellys, come in, quickly! Chicken and beans, and it's good, too," Jean calls excitedly. She's right, the beans and the chicken are great. Plain chicken breast and plain refried beans, but with enough salt and pepper to make it good. I wish there was more. "Hey, Ty 'Ellys, can I sit?" J...
Version 1
6 Reviews
5 Comments
A young woman--around twenty by the looks of her--stepped out of her bedroom. She was dressed in black. She heard a knock on the door. "Come in," Elisa siad. A blonde woman stepped in and set a cup of coffee on the dresser. The blonde, Maureen, picked up a brush and ran it through Elisa's hair. Elisa nodded, she couldn't speak just yet, and took a sip of coffee. It was a very long drive to the graveyard, so Elisa left early. There was no traffic, lukily, so she made it as her cousin arrived a...
Version 1
8 Reviews
1 Comment
I put my notebook back into my desk and looked attentively at the teacher. Ms. Pearl announced patiently, "There is a new student in our class, her name is Lacie Johnson; and I want," her finger scanned the classroom, "Hazel Rosenfeld to greet her and show her to her desk." I stood up and pushed herself from her chair. She walked to the office and asked the woman at the counter for Lacie Johnson. The woman, who was wearing a bright red dress, looked at her for a second before pointed to short...
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Reviews
I read this a few days ago, and let me tell you it was a wonderful story. I want to be helpful, and not just fawn over it because I have you added as a friend, but it really is a good story. Just to feel useful I gotta say: "Fashion, manicures, waxing, ect." that whole sentence doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the story. Just wanna say that, perhaps it's my imagination, but it confuses me. Actually, everything confuses me but still. Oops I must leave but anyway good story. hehe grin. byby
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