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AGE:
29
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 11
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 11
Rely a bit too heavily
On alcohol and irony
Get clobbered on by courtesy
In love with love and lousy poetry
Items
Version 1
40 Reviews
7 Comments
Love like life like art is an unexpected plethora of Embarrassing simple joy and numerous tragedies of necessary certainty, a win win for all involved. August whilhelm Von Schlegel had tenacity to attack French Classicism with a million paper airplanes, that flew towards the sky fearless and unfettered. I found them in the suitcase of an African diplomat whose taste for Marijuana and fast women often renders him unable to account for long periods of his travel . On my windy porch I spend my n...
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Reviews
I really enjoy reading this. There were certain parts, the beginning and more so towards the end, you show a real talent and skill for story telling. There are a few spots you become muddy and the piece contains amazing amoounts of fat. The lines aren't always tight in places. The mud is stuff like this: "The true man wants two things,’ Nietzsche said, ‘danger and play. For that reason he desires woman, the most dangerous plaything.’" The lines that sandwhich these carry a labored transition ...
well if you want me to read part one, post them together, ass hat. You should put this away until you have it all done. These big piece can't float until you make them into a boat, complete. but, I'd keep reading and feel slightly cheap that I didn't read the beginning, but I have heard this story before so yeah.
To start, the title is down right horrible. IS she The recluse Ms. Dickinson? Why not play of one of her titles or a piece of her work. It just comes across as being lazy. In certain parts of this poem, yo udo carryout lovely music. "Than any dozen diatribes Or silky, studied sonnets"
This could really use some showing, some sensory language and the subtraction of abstract words. (like "fear, the anger, the emptiness inside me") I am very curious to where you got your percentage totals. They seem very high. What was the source?
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