WOW! I have to say, this started kinda slow, with Ozzie & Cheshire going over the case; I was wondering when it was gonna pick up. I was excited to finally get to the actual concert, tho. it's always fun to get closer to the climax. That last paragraph really upped the thrill factor; the hero moment, Cheshire diving towards the king, the audience on their feet, hands extending to stop him...ha! (this sounds stupid, I know) but is Olaf really the bad guy?? you always have to wonder about chara...

Bravo. absolutely brilliant ending to a fantastic journey. I know I've said it many times before, but I'm gonna keep saying it: you are one of the best authors I've ever found on a writing forum site. I look very much forward to continuing with Cheshire's thrilling tales, and I wish you, Cat, all the best to come in life. Thank you for sharing your passion and enthusiasm with us! Jackie

this was really good. though it's short, I can feel the pain of wanting to love someone, but knowing it is not meant to be. (most people freak when they see swear words in poetry, as it's considered the more sensitive of writing types), but I thought the F word was very well used, to show the narrator's frustration and angst. very well-written; I loved it. Keep writing!

I LOVED this!! (everyone has celebrity crushes, embrace it, haha!) I liked the mention of classical greats in comparison to your fantasy lover, and just the tone of this piece: it had an old, almost 20's jazz feel to it; I could almost hear saxophones with the piano in the backround while reading it, and I could see the narrator imagining herself in a classic silk gown, slinking around the piano as Robin Thicke, in a classic suit & spotlight, plays for a smokey jazz bar... (then again, I tend...

this is definately an interesting piece; not since the Doors and Jefferson Airplane have I seen such lyrics (I'm wondering now what type of music you had in mind to set to them). I do really like the story you tell, of a time and a people who, despite all they have endured and lost, they believe there is always a brighter dawn ahead of them, and that, they have something worth teaching the world. some of the lines were absolutely beautiful: "How do we surrender without losing all control?" "H...

this was really really beautiful!! I loved the imagery and "colorful" depiction of emotion. a really great concept! (I could literally see all the splashes of colors in my mind, swirling and splatting to oriental string music-of all things! haha!-to form an exquisite piece of mind art). great work! keep writing! J

it doesn't suck that bad; it's actually ok. when it comes to writing, most times, less is more. your style of short, choppy sentences reflects the narrator's hesitancy and self-restraint. you have 'something' here, if you'd like to expand on it; it could be a good story, maybe about two young lovers unsure and afraid to face the physical aspect of their relationship. (that's what I got from it, anyway) best of luck in your writing. ^_^ J

Haunting lyrics to match. I loved this! the language was some of the most unique I've read: the one-eyed sky's delight. You are flying high above me, hanging loosely, dripping with my fear. You will fly on Long after I'm gone away You'll sing my song As I wait for end of day. Beautiful. Dark. Deep. a real artsy piece. keep writing. I'll definately check back to read more. ^_^ J

I have to agree with the last reviewer. this is not considered a quote, a haiku, or a poem. it's just an emo-esque sentence, without any originality or depth. I'm telling you now, reviewers are just gonna bash you for this; my advice is to either expand it into a poem, a short story, or any other applicable form of writing worthy of review, or take it off the site altogether. this website is for serious writers seeking constructive criticism, as well as readers seeking writers of depth & orig...

this was quite good, certainly worthy of being an ode. one thing: this piece is metaphor-palooza. (ha!), next time, mix up the language, so it's not just "you are-...you are the- in my-...you are the- of the- of my-..." (not to disrepect your piece, but in general, that method does get a bit annoying after awhile, and can push readers away). as far as grammar: stanza 3 line 4: "wonders" should be "wanders". also, add some punctuation marks; some commas, dashes, (...), semi-colons, etc. here a...