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Librina's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Greenville, SC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 25
LOC: Greenville, SC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 25
Hey, my name is Emily, I’m a 20 year old college student and I want to be a writer when I grow up. If you ever want to chat, just send a message or add me to myspace.com/dark_surreality
I’m always looking for other writers to talk to!
Items
Version 1
1 Review
3 Comments
Therapy: “I need you to talk to me Hannah.” “About what?” She should have expected that question but seems taken aback. I know I’ve made a mistake. I know she could ask me about the cuts, the scars, the words, and I’d have to answer because m...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Shadow Play sat in the living room of the small apartment, beer bottles scattered about, a joint going from one to another, curtsey of their current guitarist- a boy who seemed to put himself into this band unlike their previous one who left directly after he witnessed a scene between Mikal and August. This one, not only didn’t mind the close friendship, but had even participated into three way kissing orgy just days before. “We have an interview Saturday.” Wesley offered after a prolonged si...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Catalyst: The tile is cold beneath my feet-icy- the kind of cold which sears through flesh, radiating upwards. I feel it, my toes on fire despite the warmth of the room, the day. White tiles, smooth, with their black grout look like teeth to me- mocking me, laughing. Just do it. They whisper as I inch my fingers closer. Just do it. I lean against the counter- white as well. It’s sterile- everything is white, the counter, the sink, the toilet, the shower. Even the shower curtain is white and I...
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter 1 To say he was a rock star would be an understatement. And to say he was famous would be grossly overstating. He was little known outside of those who flipped the pages of the small town newspaper or those who straggled into the small venue on lazy Tuesday evenings once a month. And to say he was pretty was an understatement as well, though to label him an Adonis was overreaching the fact that he was not without flaws, but for Cat McAllister he was Adonis in the flesh, or rather, not...
Version 1
10 Reviews
5 Comments
Ever Cold 4. ACT I SCENE 1 Modern. Curtain is down and a woman in business suit-dark colors sits at a desk filled with a stack of papers and books. In her hand she has a red pen grading papers. One light is on her. Professor: The theories are rampant. History is but a puzzle equipped with ill-fitting pieces that teachers and historians try to push together in hopes of discovering a new picture hiding in the commonly accepted one. It corresponds to the common saying “thinking outside the box....
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Reviews
Well, it's not predictable, not at all. I'm not quite sure where you;re going with it, but that will be seen soon enough I'm sure. This piece needs to be fleshed out though, in my opinion. Right now it kind of reads like a cast listing, with a brief background on each character, but no substance. I don't want to know everything right off the bat--I don't need to know Axel is on the run, though it will be interesting, and I don't want to know that Kay was destined to lead the human race. It ha...
The main character--I'm not sure how much I like him. The situation warrants a stronger reaction from Donna, especially as Joe was talking to Ruth, and yet he had such an issue about Lee. I like, however, the hanging aspect at the end of the chapter. It's great and definitely makes me want to read more. I would like to see the next chapter, but flesh it out a bit. Right now I feel like you're just telling me what is happening, not showing me. I want to see if Joe and Donna get in a fight when...
I like the start you have here and there is definitely building tension, however you put too much description in the dialogue. You don't have to give everything up front and having characters explain their lives completely results in the dialogue sounding tinny. For example, at the end when the father is talking about his daughter needing a new bathing suit. He says that she tells him he's trying to make her look like a "geek" and that she was raised in a Christian household. Those sound forc...
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