Lino's profile
AGE:
29
LOC: Sweden
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Sweden
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
Ever since I was a young girl and read “The Witches” by Roald Dahl for the first time I’ve had a dream about becoming a writer. I enjoy everything about books: reading, writing… covers…. typesetting… readers… and writers… The lot, really.
With two small children and hunting for a job (I’m a very unemployed economic) there’s little time for writing, but I do try to squeeze it in whenever I can.
My current WIP is a historical novel set in England around the early 19th century. I hope you’ll read it and enjoy it.
Items
Version 2
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Something prodded Meredith’s mind. Again and again, it banged against the window of her consciousness in a desperate struggle to get out. Wake up, wake up… The comfortable darkness yielded to something else; a golden light that, quivering behind her eyelids and cutting into her head with relentless, painful sharpness, made her move from it. Her arm got tangled up in the bedlinen, and when she struggled with them, her movements woke the throbbing in her foot. Burning and relentless it shot thr...
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Something prodded Meredith’s mind. Again and again, it banged against the window of her consciousness in a desperate struggle to get out. Wake up, wake up… The comfortable darkness yielded to something else; a golden light that, quivering behind her eyelids and cutting into her head with relentless, painful sharpness, made her move from it. Her arm got tangled up in the bedlinen, and when she struggled with them, her movements woke the throbbing in her foot. Burning and relentless it shot thr...
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Version 5
3 Reviews
2 Comments
1. To be a fly September 12th 1797 Over and over again, it banged against the window of the small room; the insect, the large fly. Since it was late in the year, and autumn was inevitably moving closer, it was slow in its movements and its buzzing a low, tired humming. Even so, its perseverance was tireless; its efforts to get out unflagging. Buzzing, it made its way over the sash bar, further onto the glass, where it fell and started over; a painstaking climb that led nowhere. The man took a...
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Version 4
3 Reviews
2 Comments
1. To be a fly September 12th 1797 Over and over again, it banged against the window of the small room; the insect, the large fly. Since it was late in the year, and autumn was inevitably moving closer, it was slow in its movements and its buzzing a low, tired humming. Even so, its perseverance was tireless; its efforts to get out unflagging. Buzzing, it made its way over the sash bar, further onto the glass, where it fell and started over; a painstaking climb that lead nowhere. The man took ...
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Version 3
1 Review
2 Comments
1. To be a fly September 12th 1797 Over and over again, it banged against the window of the small room; the insect, the large fly. Since it was late in the year, and autumn was inevitably moving closer, it was slow in its movements and its buzzing a low, tired humming. Even so, its perseverance was tireless; its efforts to get out unflagging. Buzzing, it made its way over the sash bar, further onto the glass, where it fell and started over; a painstaking climb that lead nowhere. The man took ...
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I don't know what to think of the beginning... I think it does set the mood and the tone for the chapter, and you are consistent to this tone throughout. It works and gives it a bit of a hard boiled atmosphere, which is very nice. _But_ I can't help but think that it would get some more punch if you started with "Mr. Partridge sat behind his large...", because _this_ line is what gets me hooked. At the same time, I'm not _sure_ it's needed. It's something to think about perhaps? The rest of t...
I think the beginning of this poem is very strong and very gripping. The fact that it rhymes makes it the more chilling: it reads like some kind of a nursery rhyme. The rhyming, however, isn't (as far as I can see it anyway) very consistent, which disrupts the flow for a tad bit. But again, this adds to the nursery rhyme feeling and gives it a kind of naive tone that is actually quite effective. At the end there, I feel there's an insight to this character that is a bit off: 'Could take month...
It appears to me that you are wise beyond your years. This is all very insightful and beautifully written. Heartwrenching, genuine and open. Good hook that draws me in immediately. Your language and grammar is exquisite (at least to me, who is non-English) and the rhytm and balance of your sentences is very soothing. Other than that, I can relate to all that you're saying -- I used to be that girl, so I feel every word as though they were my own. And isn't this what writers strive for? To mak...
Even if it's a parody, I can't help but being completely drawn in and allured by this text. The language and the balance and music runs very smoothly and is beautifully composed. It certainly feels "Shakespearean". I also like how you bake modern language and concepts into it. As a satire and parody, it's perhaps not very mean and edgy, and there's a danger of some missing the point -- but on the other hand, the humour is undoubtedly there, and the irony too, so I do think it works. Thank you...
Is the heart cliche or have you reviewed yourself as you were writing? I don't really understand the placement of the word -- it's hard to take the poem seriously with it there. You play with the concepts, joy and pleasure and addiction and pain. This gives it a raw and exposed feeling that I like. Thank you for sharing.
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