i dont like this song because the rhymes are to short just like the song try adding in more words to express more it may help

this is pretty good all it needs is more writing the rest is great good job

oh this blew me away it kould be played in many different ways and still be great good job all it needs is more writing good job

this would make a great song all it needs is smarter rhymes because the ones you use are to easy to predict try using words that are different but mean the same..this is an example..i know its not great but i did it quick Faded locks covered by the moon Wishes are only colors of the rainbow Flowers that would always seem in bloom Only died because I wasn’t able Only died because I wasn’t able faded locks covered by the moon wishing that my pain was gone soon but it stays alone with me in my r...

i think your song is ok its got everything needed first of sorry for ur problems but to me commiting suicide is stupid(my opinnion)no matter how much you sufer i feel that only dumbasses want to commet suicide because you have to live life...i've suffered and yeah i've thought about suicide but my next thought was how stupid am i...ill never kill myself because i dont want to hurt the people around me... personally i dont kare about my life if i live or die any of that but my family does that...

i think that besides the begining it is pretty good the only thing was that in the begining it sounded to rough like you were pushing it the rest was good it relly got interesting

its prety good but its to short the rest is real good good job \just work on making it longer

its weird and doesnt look or feel like a song at all try rhyming better

the end is great its my favorite part mind if i use it? you make it hard for me to breathe, when the air is polluted by your disease YOU CANNOT KILL WHAT YOU DID NOT CREATE, YOU CANT CONCEIVE WHEN ALL YOU BARE IS HATE!!!! the rest i think is a pretty good song good work keep it up

this is a good poem but all that is needed is more explantions of what you want to get across everythung else to me is great good job