Manalove121's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 05
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 05
I’m 21, and enjoy writing poetry. I wouldnt really know if I am any good at anything else, let alone reviewing others, but I’ll do my best. I have 2 children, young. I’ll do my best of returning reviews for reviewing mine, thank you. And for my helpful, I noticed two or three of my reviews with lower scores were marked unhelpful. That’s not the way it works… :(
Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Back into the darkness I fall Beyond where the garish light may call Tremendous pain that wont cease Alone and afraid, I find my peace Comfort knowing it'll never stop My bleeding heart the only prop Trust in the neverending Where my tears are always descending Finding truth in my hole Being broken paid my toll Returning to this horrid despair Blaming love; for it plays not fair
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
Heart pounding heels grounding pulse races finger traces Kisses pressing Lips caressing Realitys' dreams too much it seems Wake up panting Your name I'm chanting Knowing your there Praying you were here
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
I think you did an amazing job. I actually read your eight pages, which I didnt expect. It was a little slow with the first few pages with your history. I cant quite explain it, but at the same time, I think you didnt give enough background. Im sure if I were reading the rest of the novel, it would fit in with everything, but for a short excerpt it was quite wonderful. A ... pleasure to read.
Okay, you messed up your 2 to 4 again, I cant believe I didnt notice it before.. "It’s over, I am too tired" That's 3 to 5... So, I dont know what you should do to fix it, but... :) DO IT! lol Anyway, nice, keep up the good work. I like your other ones more, this one isnt at all cryptic to what I'm used to, I can actually see what you mean without thinking about it, was that a mistake, or did you actually do that on purpose?
It's sad... I wanna cry, but I dont know how for, the queen with the mysteriness of the ending of the relationship, or the writer, who fights over his feelings. It's written very well, I'm not sure if there is an error here... "In together-future dreams." for some reason, it just seems alil off.
It's Beautiful. It really makes you think about how unappreciated they are. For the critique - Your missing only a few puncuations, but you put in a lot more than I would have. I'm horrid that way.
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