Margaret's profile

Powerful opening-- I would absolutely like to read more. Your descriptions are vivid, and you control the ebb and flow of tension extremely well. The pacing is also excellent. I can't comment with any accuracy about how it measures up overall since I'm not familiar with the genre, nor can I predict how publishable the finished product will be. But you are a very good writer and I send all best wishes for your success. Margaret

While I realize this is a chapter out of the context of the whole, I found it absolutely riveting! You handle all the important points of novel writing extremely well. To begin with, you draw the reader in with an interesting but not overly exciting scene that is enlivened and made totally real by the strength of your descriptions. And those are given their impact by your use of original and extremely apt similes and metaphors. Then you build the tension, slowly and magically, adding to the c...

Cindy, You've done a great job with this story. The dialogue works well, and you manage to convey the needed background information in ways that don't interrupt the flow. This can be difficult when you have a first-person narrator, and you've done it well. And even though the piece is short, you manage to create three fascinating characters. I was especially impressed with the strength of the character of the newly dead man--he's quite a ghost! I would encourage you to do some research and se...

While sci-fi is not my field, this is a fast-moving (no pun intended), exciting, and fascinating story. Your command of language, your ability to handle dialogue, and your talent for creating suspense are absolutely amazing for a 15 year old. You should definitely bring your work to the attention of agents. I'm assuming that you have already published, but if not, you should certainly send your pieces out to appropriate magazines/journals. The minor editing problems just need a careful reread...