Okay, nit-picky automaton nonsense out of the way first. First paragraph, "other's" should be the plural possessive "others'" and later, "in-need" doesn't require a hyphen. Second paragraph, "bus sequences of events on caught on film." First "on" needs to be removed. Fourth paragraph, "starring" to "staring." Just needs a once- or twice-over to pick up the little errors. As a whole, it was touchingly descriptive and had an almost monotonous thoughtfulness to it. The speaker was simultaneously...

This certainly didn't go where I thought it was going to, and certainly not in a bad way was I surprised. The first stanza had me thinking of another inner-city lower class herald, but as the story took shape, I was hooked and touched. For nitpicky nonsense: Following "Intention?" the extra line space is distracting and takes away from the impact of the answer. For "eyes dried red, / finally sleep." Perhaps say "asleep." "Sleep" was awkward and caused a halt in reading. In the dialogue, "Ofco...

Third stanza, fourth line: "individuals" should be possessive. Fourth stanza, second line: "Loves" should be possessive. Fifth stanza, second line: "Subjects" should be possessive. Sixth stanza, third line: "viewers" should be possessive. Seventh stanza, first line: "loves" should be possessive. Seventh stanza, third line: "canvass" only needs one "s" I apologize if the errors were intentional since in retrospect the consistency of the error seemed to stand out, but those were all I could rea...

Hilarious. I already went into it with a smile on my face after the authorial notes, but that whole poem was killer. But.. fact that I loved the content and the humor immensely aside... It was extremely well-written and the only errors were intentional. Bravo! I don't know about it being incomplete. It stands as it wonderfully, imho. :P (favorited, btw)

First paragraph, maybe "The slutty ones" to clarify, though this is only suggestion and in no way necessary. Later in the same sentence, I think "self decency" should have a hyphen between. Second paragraph, "the little girl just let's it all go..." -- "let's" should be "lets" Later, "Nice Uncle Danny offers rides in his car, off pink like scars.." The description of the scars is a little awkward. I wouldn't know whether to say "off-pink" or "pink-like," but as it stands it doesn't work. Also...

In the second line, maybe plural "hands"? The single hand reference had me wondering what you were going to do with that one hand, what the significance of it was, but it was never touched on again. The line "land on your head" had me wanting to laugh more than anything. The last two lines brought me back to the concept of a beast, but that line still killed it for me. Made me picture a cat on the prowl, being bad, not some animal that could kill me. Maybe different wording here? Otherwise, c...

(I'm adding edits according to AP style guidelines. Please ignore any that do not apply to the intended style of the piece.) First sentence: use full quotes instead of singles since the line is not contained within a spoken quotation. Also, where did this quote come from? It doesn't stand out enough to be an understood quote from a particular individual. Second line: remove the commas around William Hague's name. Avoid using colons where possible in journalism. Instead, use a comma to begin t...

In the first paragraph, consider revising the second sentence. The "in addition to his skill" set off by commas is distracting and confusing when placed inside of an item series. Also, whose credentials are you refering to in the last sentence? This is unclear. Second paragraph, consider combining the second and third sentences to eliminate choppiness: "Some artists make a living with their art, and some art is consequently gimmicky or commercial." Also, consider replacing "is gimmicky" with ...

The first sentence needs some grammatical work: "In 2006, a film was released called 'Idiocracy,' which was directed by Mike Judge, who was also the director of the popular television show 'Beavis and Butthead.' Second sentence, need a comma after "frequent breeding" Third sentence, "played by Luke Wilson" needs to be set off by commas, and what is "is played in suspended animation"? Consider rewording. Also, "forgot" should be "forgotten." I'm not going to write up much so you can save your ...