Marrianeelizabeth's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: Aurora, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 17
LOC: Aurora, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 17
hi! my name is Marriane Elizabeth. i’ve been a writer since who knows how long. i love to write poetry and stories and songs (lyrics and tunes) and also an ocassional rant or essay.
it is my belief that through writing you can see a person better than if you were just to talk to them, because in writing they can really pour out their soul. so… if you want to know more about me, read my writings!
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this is my most recent poem: a pathetic attempt at an epic poem, but perhaps closer to my goal than previous ventures. the poem speaks of a demon whom i fight with every day, some of you know what it is. some of you have seen me lost to it- caged, as the poem describes. but in my most recent battle with this demon, i came to the resolution that i will never again be enslaved to its power... thus my written account. obviously, this is mostly metaphorical, i am an author after all, but i believ...
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A Blank Sheet Of Paper A blank sheet of paper. Open. Clean. Ready for adventures or sorrows or joys or fears to be written. Waiting for the pen or the pencil to be set to it. Waiting for the words that were meant for it. This sheet of paper, So empty and so lifeless, Can be filled with man’s worst nightmare, Or with soothing words to calm the lost. This sheet of paper, So white and so clear, Awaits the day when the words of the writer shall fill its spaces. Shall cram its corners. Shal...
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My World Kid! Hey kid! Sheesh… you’re off on some other planet. Some other planet he says… if only he really knew. My planet is my sacred place. My world of freedom and life. My planet thrives, with poetry and song. My planet, it’s not so very far. I let my mind wander, And to there it always goes. My world is a Musical world. a place of poetry and song. Of symphonies and orchestras. Of lyrics and of words. ‘Tis there that I am freest. Where communication tran...
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Primeval ‘T’ain’t the sun which greets me this morning as I open up my door and begin my daily trek. ‘Tis the moon, with its cool, blue light, and penetrating cold. “T’ain’t the birds who sing good morning as I trudge on down the road. ‘Tis the final hunting call of the wolves. An ethereal call, straight from the mouths of the ancients. No more does the light play on the leaves, for the night is everlasting, and the leaves, long gone. An icy bl...
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Night On and on this Night doth last. Never ending, never changing. ‘Tis almost as if the sun has forgot its course, or that the earth refuse to show its face. Lost. The dark swallows me up. Yet comforting. For I am alone and free in this dark, No one else can share. And each day I wake, to discover yet everlasting Night. And I am calm. I see the world outside, but cannot act, by choice or by force. This Night is my shield, no dangers can take me here. This Night is a wall, keeping ou...
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" just as quietly replied" is worded a little akwardly.. unless akwardness is the idea you're trying to get across. short, sweet, and to the point. provides stark contrast in what we say and what we do. veritable demonstration of today's standards and behaviors. fascinating that you could capture it in so short a piece. congrats
*chuckle* this is quite humorous. i enjoyed the reference to a posterior also been called the "moon". slightly confusing there how they matched. perhaps clear that up a little? matched in size? or consistency? or intelligence? just some ideas... overall pretty good. still think it should be limited though
overall decent except for the first line. seems like a hiccup in the rhythm. is there another word you can use for king or something? that or put "invites" instead of "is inviting"... that would help with the flow. and yes, i do believe it should be rated mature. the word is obvious.
just for fluidity, i'd put "Pressed gold with the memories/ better to take" instead of "Pressed gold with the/ memories better to take", spelling error: "flinging their TAILS". also, move "tails" to the previous line, as well as "far". i get the impression that the kites are merely a symbol for something, but the description is so vague that i can't quite tell what they are alluding to... either clear that up (that meaning the last set of lines or so) so that the reader loses some frustration...
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