“A good meal must be as harmonious as a symphony and as well-constructed as a Norman cathedral.” Fernand Point, Ma gastronomie (1897-1955) When Benjamin first moved into the neighbourhood, he could tell that the residents were nervous. Curtains twitched when the extra-large removal van arrived on the street. As well as hauling the furniture, the removal guys carted heavy-looking black boxes into the house. Workmen with hard hats visited, making deafening sounds of construc...

It's 2002. I've made it back to the student halls after a painful, hungover lecture. I want to go to bed. Right now. I got past the first door when someone opened it for me, but now I've got to swipe my pass at the second door- and the pass in my pocket which is stuffed with keys and money and other crap weighing me down. There's a growing queue of students behind me, waiting. I could let them swipe me through, but just to prove that I actually live here, I have to find this damn pass. All t...

There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans. -Carrot Top Power is a State of Mind is my “Flagship” blog- the place where anyone can access accounts of my ridiculous escapades, read my opinions on life and find links to my published work. Http://www.powerisastateofmind.blogspot.com As with every other groundbreaking, absurdly amazing and universe-altering piece of literature (cough) Power is a State of Mind now also has it's own Facebook presence- in particular a fa...

“Remember: power is a state of mind. You have as much as you think you have. If you don't think you have any, you don't.” - Motivational tape, The Assassination of Richard Nixon I've just been browsing through some blogs ran by a few friends. Most of them I've never met in real life, but as writers we meet online and help each other out when we can. And if that's not a form of friendship, I don't know what is. Okay, I'll let you dry your eyes now. Most people have an interesting ...

“A man is only remembered for his work.” -Samuel Bicke (Sean Penn) This is probably best read with the background accompaniment of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2cFEHM9yMw I've just re-watched The Assassination of Richard Nixon, Neils Mueller's stunning film set in 1974. Samuel Bicke, a struggling salesman, blames Nixon for the world's ills, including unemployment, racism and decides to take drastic action. I decided to come back to this film becaus...

“Everything I do is either illegal, immoral or fattening.” -WC Fields I think the only noteworthy thing this month is the trip to Blackpool for Apone's birthday, where we all got steaming during the day, dressed in an array of ridiculous outfits- Fireman, Julius Caesar, Nun, Nurse (a guy in the girl's outfit, with a wig) and Knight. Drunken banter was out of control. The Nun took offence to something someone said, and stormed off on his own down the promenade like an angry sister...

TITLE CARD: THE KNIFE JOB INT. COLLEGE BUILDING: DAY Two lads, both 17 years old, wearing tracksuit pants and hoodies, sit in a corridor with their backs to a large window overlooking the college grounds. In a few moments, one of these may be a killer- an ASSAILANT. The other is already the INSTIGATOR. ASSAILANT I saw him ride off on it. There was a car boot sale last week as well… I only found out yesterday. There’s no way he didn’t sell it. I mean, it’s just a bike,...

Pressure Playin' on the tension and your weakness are addictions that lure your mind. You can fight it, you can win For your deliverance, just bow your head and pray. - The Pressure, Sounds of Blackness Early 2004. I was in third year at uni, desperately trying to catch up on the mountains of work that had piled up. Something had gone wrong- I'd hesitated when starting the work, convinced I was going to fuck it up. And I was right. My assignments were laid out in ways that didn't help- headi...

“'Did I bring the porno?' What to I look like? Some kind of 'non-porno-bringer'?” -Peter Griffin, Family Guy It has been nearly a year since the husband of Home Secretary Jaqui Smith was caught using her expense to pay for two pay-per-view porn movies for her husband. Since then, the MPs' expenses scandal has deepened and deepened. I've already mentioned in 'Human Nature', a previous blog, that greed is intrinsic to human character and that our MPs are just like every other normal...

“With audacity one can undertake anything, but not do everything.” -Napoleon Bonaparte I've just received a letter from my old university asking me if I'd like join many other graduates by donating money to help more students get through their degrees. “For one nursing student, this cash injection has put a roof over her head,” it says. Over the years, I've become more and more bitter about my Higher Education experience. I'm aware that I'm quite privilaged to have bee...