Medishka's profile
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Version 1
18 Reviews
2 Comments
My Woman I see my woman comin' She's walkin through the door I'll bet in just a minute, I'll be laying on the floor Cause I'm stuck here on this bar stool, without a place to hide And my woman keeps a-comin' Goodbye cruel wor-rld go-ood bye. When we were newly married, my darlin' told me "hon, Always be a good boy, don't ever try to run'". Then she shot a girl in Reno, just cause I said "Hi" Now my woman's getting closer, I think I'm go-ona-a' die. I bet you think I'm crazy and should run aw...
Version 1
16 Reviews
4 Comments
It was bitterly cold that winter day And the elderly fisherman bent to pray His hat was tattered, his coat was torn And these were the words he spoke, forlorn. "Oh I am a fisherman bent and grey With naught but a shanty in which to stay My only friend is the stormy sea Not even a family to care for me. I never laugh, And I never cry But sit in silence And wish to die. My mind is on heaven Please take me away Where the sea's never angry The clouds never gray." And even as he prayed His eyes se...
Version 1
17 Reviews
8 Comments
Well the autumn day was hazy I was feeling tired and lazy When my stomach got a hankering for ham But I checked inside my cupboard And like good Old Mother Hubbard It was empty - but for seven cans of spam. Well I pondered for a second Then aloud, I said I reckoned That I'd try it though it didn't look so great. But I sliced it thick and fried it Watched the grizzle cook inside it And I placed the thing upon a paper plate. It was brown around the edges But the center of the wedges Came alive ...
Version 1
32 Reviews
10 Comments
There were many stories circulating about Nichole. Some thought she was a witch, others tagged her as a whore; but nothing in her demeanor this day would indicate that she was either. In her early thirties, Nichole had 'appeared' in the destitute town of Webster three years ago. She kept mostly to herself, disappearing for three or four days, twice a year. Her absences were as mysterious as her presence and speculation about her was perhaps the only entertainment in the hillside town of less...
Version 1
16 Reviews
4 Comments
Out of the depth of senseless speech A half formed thought, yet out of reach. And a gleamings of the blurted thought Like ashes smoldering are soon forgot. So in comforting solitude To reconstruct this baser mood. To till the soil and plant it right, A hardier seed that will not blight. For many a seed sewn upon a rock Will neither yeild a shoot or stalk. And broadcast in haste Yeilds no fruit Just wasted words left destitute. Well formed words our thoughts should be Green and fresh as in a f...
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Reviews
Very nice concept and excellent ending. My suggestion to improve this writing, would be to cut back on the words. In many instances, it would be possible to make two, nice flowing sentences out of one. Lots of commas and punctuation causes the reader to stray from the the action in the story. I had to read it a couple of times to get the gist. I'm glad I did though. It has a nice message.
I can't believe I waded through all that blasphemous vulgarity just to learn that you made your girlfriend fart. This was nothing more than rambling nonsense. I'm not saying that you don't have talent, perhaps you do; but it was lost to me. I could find nothing redeeming in this lenghty narrative. Sorry.
0.0% Review Quality (3 Votes)
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I wish you had taken the time to correct your spelling and take care of the typos. They were somewhat distracting. I liked the 'tongue-in-cheek' approach and the flippant way you re-wrote the Cinderella theme. A cute story and fun to read. Yes - I did read it a couple of times because I couldnt make sense of it on the first reading. I just went back and skimmed over the typos. Fix the spelling and typos and I'll bet you'll get some good reviews.
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