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Melaina's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: Wauseon, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 06
LOC: Wauseon, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 06
Name: Melaina (Mel-A-na)
Age:15.5
Loves: Photography, Writing, Photo Editing, Graphic Arts, Web Design, Drawing, etc.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
See that girl round the corner there? *How great that girl can be See that girl that flips her hair? *And that’s all that you see Behind those broken eyes She’s dealing with the pain And all you do is sit there Just pour the champagne [Chorus] [She’s nothing special anymore You’ve broken her too far Everything is spiraling Right down to the floor She’s stronger than you know She’ll pull right through the worse She’ll make you pay the price my dear Through the back of that hearse She’ll make y...
Version 1
11 Reviews
0 Comments
I first met Aiden when we were in Everston High School. I had just moved, yet again, and had to readjust to a new place, new people, and new social issues. It was a continuous rollercoaster for me, and at first, I was always crying and complaining about how complicated my life was. Eventually, I just shut down completely. My parents moved around more than anyone else I knew. Father’s business continually moved him from place to place to sell their new products. When one area no longer needed ...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
I’d do anything just to be by your side To see you with pride And never set you aside I want to be more than friends But to tell you depends If our love extends I don’t know why My mouth becomes so dry And I feel I can fly This love Is above Everything else I need to get a hold of I wish you could see How much you mean to me And all the things we could be I would take a chance To advance This romance But I fear That when I am clear You won’t hear
Version 1
11 Reviews
0 Comments
Paper shackles hold me down Hear this feeling all around Crimson blood of bleeding palms Unrelenting, killing bombs As the children wallow in fear Underneath the silver tear Falling and praying No longer playing They work and they slave Digging their own grave Cries for their parents are heard Yearning for everything they preferred But forget their pain Think that they only feign As long you live with no guilt While their blood is spilt What does it matter? As they lay there and shatter
Version 1
11 Reviews
0 Comments
You’ve Held Me Higher Then High My Number One Ally I Cannot Deny You’re A One Of A Kind Guy Months Of Pleasure And Worry Not The Least Bit Blurry For Any Days I May Be Unsure Days That I’m At My Most Immature I Just Lay Where I’m Most Secure In Your Arms, All Else Obscure A Day Without You Is Like A Rainbow With No Color The World Just That Much More Duller As I Sing To My Favorite Song I Know, To Us, These Words Belong Nothing Can Go Wrong While We Get Along Our Worlds Are Swirled And Curled...
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Reviews
What made this poem interesting was the word usage. It was vivid, but this was extremely choppy, and did not flow. With that great of word use, if you just fix up the poem a bit, it will be really good! Keep up the good work. =]
This was just far too choppy for my taste, and it's a bit confusing. Get the lines to rhyme correctly, and get words in the right orders if they are not like in the line "you in my thoughts are." It didn't finish, and it shouldn't have ended on "are." Sometimes ending a line with a word used in that way, to continue to another line, work out, but this didn't. You need a little more practice, but this wasn't too bad. Good job.
This was a pretty good piece, thanks to the words you used. But it was pretty choppy. You should really get syllables close together for each line. And sometimes a rhyme helps out with flow, at least, I believe it does for myself. Great job though, even though I have not a Stephan King book yet, so I don't exactly know who this character is.
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