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Melaniee's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: Crestview, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 22
LOC: Crestview, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 22
I’ve got next to no education, and even less outside motivation or support in my writing. I would love to know if I am any good, & if I am good, publish me, pay me.
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Version 2
16 Reviews
2 Comments
POINTE WASHINGTON “Maddie, You know Poppa told you and Jacy not to take King Creole out yet, He isn’t ready to ride this soon after getting here.” J.D said to his little sister. Poppa had bought the horse for Maddie because she was such an Elvis fan, and because he’d found out the animal had been abused by his previous owners. Angus could never and would never stand by and do nothing while any of God’s creatures suffered. He had the means and the power to put a stop to it, as well a heart big...
Version 1
11 Reviews
3 Comments
GOLDEN WOODS “Ladies, let’s all welcome Jacenda Hallowell.” Miss Feeney, the fifth grade teacher said as she looked down her hawk like nose from the front of the classroom. It was the first day back from Easter break, as Maddie glanced up from her algebra assignment to see the smiling girl holding ‘Frigidaire Feeney’s’ hand. How different she looked than the other girls. She looked so exotic, she had long shining dark chocolate colored hair and a golden bronze complexion, but her eyes were th...
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Oh yeah I'd leave it right there. I really like this a lot. I only saw one spot that might need work and it was only a little tiny deletion. "She showed me pictures of her that were on featured on a soft porn website called Suicide Girls." I'm sure you just overlooked that first "on." This is really brilliant.
Lard, mayonaise, pudding, I like this. The irony of self-control being the mantra and then failure. Humorous! More please.
Maybe I shouldn't try to review lyrics. I'm lost in this one, it is quite difficult to critique lyrics sans music. Very hard to get the flow. Realizing this may not have helped you...apologizing.
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