What if I don't want to get out????? Anyway.....This is quite insightful. It shows an, 'awareness'. "I feel a treason" It as if in dreams the soul speaks, begging us to purge. It can be an arduous task. Nicely done.

Hey! I hope this will help. Pg.1 Indent 1st paragraph. 2nd paragraph: I would suggest breaking the first sentence into multiple smaller ones. If you remain steadfast about longer sentences, avoid using them as first in a paragraph. Pg.2 Could he 'feel' the drop below or 'sense' it? Adjective/adverb use: Reduce them. Overuse will promote 'telling' when 'showing' is desirable. They will also state 'this noun or verb is not strong enough to stand alone'. Avoid doubles(very distant) NEVER use mor...

Hi! I hope this review serves you. Since it is a challenge to acrately transpose format onto URBIS, I'll not be commenting on things like 'indentation'. Pg.1 Line 2/8: Perhaps multiple, shorter sentences? Remember when using commas: In oreder to be accurate the fragments pre and post must make sense by forming a complete sentence as if the commas weren't there. Keep in mind that although success may be achieved 'gramatically' particular attention should be paid to how 'easy' of a read it is, ...

I create war, I create peace, just give me a chance and ill rock this beat perhaps.... I create war, I create peace, I'm taking what's mine and will rock this beat Ownership is appropriate here. I like it. It's boardering on DARK, which is my lyrical MANTRA. Nicely done.

...let them eat cake! When someone reviews chapter 7 then writes, 'You need to flesh out your protagonist' I instantly know that I'm dealing with an idiot. ESPICALLY when my 'notes' state to review the work chronologically, or not at all. Some have difficulty following directions. Anyway, off to the review! Pg.1 Avoid repeating words and/or like phrasing in close proximity: -2- line 1 (gate). Pg.2 Comma after 'sour'. (be carful about using multiple adjectives. It's appropriate within this dia...

Some of these may repeats of suggestions that I made earlier: Pg.1 I'm unsure accurate, "...the events of her dream were accurate..." is the proper word. This may be stating that she is recalling her dream accurately. Perhaps : ...were reality. I am not a fan of starting sentences with, 'but'. Avoid repeating words like 'still' in close proximity. Pg.2 line 6: "..before you can practice". I would simplify/clarify "....first". Watch your use of double adjectives and adverbs (almost giddy). rep...

Dude? You are soooo not right. LOL. Hey! you forgot to put 'And' in there!!!!! Michaelreffic AND scrumdeleciously creative.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Oh my...... Let's hope that changes! intriguing.

So much for being driven crazy by the whole 'six word thing'..... I like this.....Luck is a residue of design and work ethic.