MissMenagerie's profile

MissMenagerie avatar
AGE: 22
LOC: Montpelier, VT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 23

Hello, guys and dolls…just me here. More info later, after I get to look around the site.

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Limericks / Gathering Credits
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
Limericks get a million reviews Such short things, creating such queues, I wonder if maybe My novel, my baby, Would, stopped at line one, fill the pews?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
She bled out in poetry They found her surrounded 200 pages of shaky handwriting Her last outpour as she lay in bed dying They were beautiful, of course. For years, she had leapt from one art to the next One side of her brain slowly burning itself out At the expense of the adrenal gland Pumping until her blood was Thirty percent poetry Thirty percent paint Thirty percent love Each bound to a drop of adrenaline Earned on One a.m. drives Three a.m sex Five a.m. coffee And quarter-hour cigarettes...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
You have a wife in every port A hat for every yard You win them gifts, practice rapport In every game of die or card You win la femme with kisses With adventure and with flare They chase you through the streets But they can’t follow everywhere… For only one will lurk in alleys And still smile with shadow-lips Only one can laugh in costume As a swabber when the anchor slips That one will never leave you ‘Till you sail with Charon ‘crossed And even then she’ll dive for you Without a moment lost...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
After so much paint So much mistaking carbonation caffination for hydration and So much mistaking flourish for nourishment, So much sitting at home alone creating in my corner when I could be a thousand other places and I’m writing instead… A few months ago, I stood on the Langdon Street bridge, Looking at a parking lot on the river which had crumbled into the water It fortold the disintegration of one of my homes, the occupants who have now scattered and are lost to me. Tonight I was told of...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
14 Reviews   1 Comment
We often sat in cars 'round the bend And smoked our cigarettes to the end Imagine the feeling The next day we're reeling To find we've grown, Heavens for fend!
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Reviews
Removed
Funny story, but funny punctuation. Once you clean up those little technicalities that make the reading smoother, this should be wonderful. We used to play theater games in WalMart...You know, "Freeze!" and suddenly there's fifteen mannequins in the electronics section. Rock on.
Actually created about three-hundred and forty-two mental images. Which is fantastic. I guess if I had to offer criticism, I'd say, try to find some shorter synonyms? One of the great things about the original 'For sale: Baby shoes' is that it didn't try to stretch six words into a thousand syllables. But that's just critique 'cause I'm supposed 'ta. Good one.
Flash Fiction / Six Word Memoir
Last two seem a little redundant after the first four. Good idea, though. Maybe play around with the ending (if a part of six words can be called an ending)? I think it's the number of syllables in 'everywhere' throwing me off. It's probably just me, anyway. Still, good job.
At first glance, I thought this might be about a girl who had been abused rather than traumatized by death. It's very good, but I think it might need what my only good English teacher called a 'door line,' as in saying, 'his shoes still by the door' instead of just 'he was gone.' Very touching, all the same.
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