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MissMenagerie's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Montpelier, VT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Montpelier, VT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
Hello, guys and dolls…just me here. More info later, after I get to look around the site.
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She bled out in poetry They found her surrounded 200 pages of shaky handwriting Her last outpour as she lay in bed dying They were beautiful, of course. For years, she had leapt from one art to the next One side of her brain slowly burning itself out At the expense of the adrenal gland Pumping until her blood was Thirty percent poetry Thirty percent paint Thirty percent love Each bound to a drop of adrenaline Earned on One a.m. drives Three a.m sex Five a.m. coffee And quarter-hour cigarettes...
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You have a wife in every port A hat for every yard You win them gifts, practice rapport In every game of die or card You win la femme with kisses With adventure and with flare They chase you through the streets But they can’t follow everywhere… For only one will lurk in alleys And still smile with shadow-lips Only one can laugh in costume As a swabber when the anchor slips That one will never leave you ‘Till you sail with Charon ‘crossed And even then she’ll dive for you Without a moment lost...
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After so much paint So much mistaking carbonation caffination for hydration and So much mistaking flourish for nourishment, So much sitting at home alone creating in my corner when I could be a thousand other places and I’m writing instead… A few months ago, I stood on the Langdon Street bridge, Looking at a parking lot on the river which had crumbled into the water It fortold the disintegration of one of my homes, the occupants who have now scattered and are lost to me. Tonight I was told of...
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We often sat in cars 'round the bend And smoked our cigarettes to the end Imagine the feeling The next day we're reeling To find we've grown, Heavens for fend!
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When our darkness steals o're the land Fairy tales should stay at home Throw open the Inn doors and yank in the band On nights when werewolves roam If Humpty Dumpty had only known The ground was where that wall-top led He would have dragged ol' Jill inside And buggered her instead. The nights when petals drop aground And witches pass your windows Don't listen to the howling sounds or the pixies in the hedgerows Just get thee to a nunnery! A church, the castle towers! Tonight princesses climb ...
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Reviews
Yeow! Broken glass in an ice cream cone. Nice shock.
I was picturing more of a 'sack of the library of Alexandria' scene right up until 'cell phones'... a pleasant shock. Good title. "Cancer came as flaming foxes in a field" Wow!
"temple slave saints linger in the halls of Diana singing hymns of my pain" A favorite line. We are all the Hunted. I think even Edna St. Vincent Millay would be proud.
I would positively kill to see this more fleshed out. Yes, there are Fountain of Youth stories everywhere, but if this one is going where I think it's going, run with it! Spend another hour or two with this and then call it your best short fiction. Specifically, go back to the oak table and put another paragraph around it, describe the brochure in detail, and inch up a little towards where the story actually ends.
I probably would have said the same! On writing style- Be careful of the repetitive 'She this, she that, she this' formula. It's a simple sentence structure thing, but after reading it too much the brain tends to hang up.
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