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MrBillShow's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: Spokane, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Spokane, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
I usually find myself writing about silly things like sports, movies, TV, and if the dog is contemplating how I would taste if she were only large enough to kill and devour me. Please enjoy my humble offerings. Love it or hate it, let me know what you think. We can only improve with feedback. Thanks.
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
3 Comments
Thanks to the kindness of some good friends, I had the opportunity to visit Staples Center this past Saturday night and watch, of all things, a professional hockey game. Los Angeles Kings vs. Minnesota Wild. Yup, this zealous sports partisan, militantly registered in the Baseball Party (The REAL G.O.P.) sat amongst the curious species known as Fannus Hockeyus. So, after a brief visit to the concession stand (Nachos and a Large Coke for $47.50! Such a deal!!), we trudged to our seats. We were ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
18 Comments
This past week, I fell victim to that nasty cold/flu/sinus/infection thing that appears to be going around. This little sucker of a virus knocked me out for a good 3 days. As a result, I was stuck at home, wrapped in a blanket, continuously blowing gunk from my nose, and being generally miserable. What is one to do whilst in the grips of an illness? Why, channel surf of course! During my channel surfing, I came across a familiar old friend: RETURN OF THE JEDI. Now, I have had issues with this...
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On a technical note, I would suggest some breaking up of paragraphs. Some of the longer sections are very difficult to read. This is clearly a very thoughtful piece of writing on a subject very close to you. Just make sure your passion for a subject doesn't get in the way of clarity, percision, and organization.
On a technical note, you refer to "rules" in your title and then only post one rule throughout this piece. You did have many different aspects and consequences of adhering to this rule but you didn't really spell out "rules." This is a great reminder that it only takes a small number of people to give you belief and support. While the rest of the family is thumbing their noses, it only takes that "cool aunt and uncle" to give you a wink and say "We get you. Go for it. Do something extraordina...
This piece does very well in illustrating the impact a really good teacher can have on one's life. Very passionately written. My only question is what did you go on to become? Are you a teacher? Are you in a position of leadership which requires you to bring out the best in others? Seeing where you have ended up could have given this otherwise very strong piece even more impact.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I, too, found the "are you gonna do exposition all night" line a bit jarring. It sounded like something from a Zucker brothers film. While it did make me chuckle, it did seem out of place. It seems to me that the humor in stories of this type lies in remaining as true to the crime thriller/private investigator genre as possible. Remain true to its conventions and people will unavoidably find the story amusing. I would have liked to have seen a little more description of the scene to break up ...
Well, damn, I guess now I'll have to read all of the other parts to this story, seeing as how I'm hooked now. I could hear a saxaphone wailing in the background. This absolutely felt like one of those old film noir detective thrillers. I'm guessing you've seen a lot of those? I'm loving the descriptive yet terse nature of the dialog.
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