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AGE:
25
LAST LOGIN: October 04
LAST LOGIN: October 04
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Items
Version 1
14 Reviews
3 Comments
As dawn breaks a man sits on the mountain. A sword is clenched in his hand. Passion burns in his heart. Fight lives in his heart. This man knows no fear. Suddenly he shoots down the most treacherous face of the mountain. With great ease he makes it to the base. Standing firmly on his ground, with flowing hair blowing in the wind, he surveys the land. His stare pierces the air. Without warning he is confronted by his enemies, a hundred strong. They close in around him, but he remains, unwaveri...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
A beacon of light glimmers on the horizon Its sparkling wonder catches my eye Curiosity grips my mind Slowly I begin to walk forward As I approach, waves of energy envelop my body Slowly my sadness melts away Closer and closer, I feel no fear It escapes me within streams from my eyes The warmth cradles my body Gradually the light takes shape A human form it becomes It reaches out and touches my soul Renewing the life deep down inside me Walking away, I float above the ground My heart glows an...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
And the twinle in your eye Has dispersed into the emblazened night sky Lost amidst the haze A diamond in the rough I will search for it, far and near Whether it be high or low, here or there And when it is found Dancing with the fakers I'll bring it in tight, I'll never let it go The shimmer will be returned to you In its full fledged glory You will be whole again Just like a fairytale story Once again you'll light up my life It'll be sunny, even when its raining This much I do owe you I prom...
Version 1
6 Reviews
2 Comments
I stand here, amongst the gritty ruins My reality, my distain They creep through my mind Like roaches unchecked Hissing echoes through my skull A vanguished evil Paralyzed by hope I shout to the darkness It shouts nothing back Who will remain by my side in these times? Have I nothing left? The cold grip of fear A life less lived Tears of pain and suffering Will the anguish ever end? With me now, the light grows dim Havoc wrought, blood was spilled Through the guts, we have an idea Without the...
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Reviews
This seems to be a pretty good start to an interesting story. It seems sort of mysterious with the whole AI agent part and could be unpredictable with a robot that can think. It was also cool how it was straight up announced that Carry is a cyborg and the story just unfolded to reveal different things. Some parts seem a little repetative and other parts seem a little wordy, but overall its a nice start.
I really enjoyed this poem. I connected with a lot of the things you say here and it just rings true with me. I like the imagery you used it helps the message get across better.
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Sounds like this main character is pretty confused about things. These lyrics are written fairly well. I think, however, if you are going to be rhyming in this song, it might need to be more consistent and have a sort of structure to it. That way the flow would be a little better and the message would come across clearer.
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