Mylife_through_Mywords's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Cadiz, KY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 10
LOC: Cadiz, KY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 10
I guess this is the part where I say a little bit about myself. I love to write; wrote my first poem in the 5th grade. My husband’s family, my husband, and friends love my poems, nothing against them….but they are close to me, so I really don’t think they would tell me if one sucked anyway, right? So here I am.
I want honest feed back from other writers. Over the last year I have been trying to write a few songs…I love music. Music has always meant so much to me. I have always listen to a song over and over getting the meaning behind it, that is how I fall in love with a song, the lyrics not just the beat.
I have not really wrote in a years, but recently ( last 2 years ) started writing again and it has just been such an awes…
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THIS PLACE Are you looking down at me, Can you see me with scraped up knees, I have fallen in the darkness, Here in this place, I can’t stop the rain, Falling down upon this broken face, I know you wont leave me here in my sorrow, I know that the son will help me rise tomorrow, But until then, Will you please, (chorus) Send- Send your son Down- Down on his daughter Send - Send your son To dry up the rain in this place This face can’t take much more, This place can’t handle being hurt, Take aw...
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Pain consumes me, Through my eyes, he must see, I sit here, and I feel his lies, pound my inner most being, I am overwhelmed by bitterness, All I am seeing, his eyes, so cold, so dark. My hurt and pain, I cover it all, hide every bruise, every mark. the unhappiness, the hurt and shame. my emptiness, he acts as if its a game, but what he does to me, how he says my name, I just want to run away, I plea just to be set free, from the anger he has caused me. Same thing, another day, Same lie, Ano...
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You come to me, With your words of love. You think I should see, Understand what you say about everything above, But I'm a stranger, I'm lost! I don't understand when you talk about eternity and the cost! You say my life is in danger, I need to be saved, But saved, What does that mean? You say that someone has paved, Paved my whole life out for me, You tell me so many things, Out of love, But can you hear me when I say I'm a stranger, To things to the above? I'm like a bat, In the sun light,...
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You come to me, With your words of love. You think I should see, Understand what you say about everything above, But I'm a stranger, I'm lost! I don't understand when you talk about eternity and the cost! You say my life is in danger, I need to be saved, But saved, What does that mean? You say that someone has paved, Paved my whole life out for me, You tell me so many things, Out of love, But can you hear me when I say I'm a stranger, To things to the above? I'm like a bat, In the sun light,...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
You come to me, With your words of love. You think I should see, Understand what you say about everything above, But I'm a stranger, I'm lost! I don't understand when you talk about eternity and the cost! You say my life is in danger, I need to be saved, But saved, What does that mean? You say that someone has paved, Paved my whole life out for me, You tell me so many things, Out of love, But can you hear me when I say I'm a stranger, To things to the above? I'm like a bat, In the sun light,...
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Reviews
Wow, I really like this. I like how descriptive you were in this also. Sounds like a bitterness point of view, and a sad one, hurt too. Thanks for sharing this. Keep up the work! I am sure so many people will be able to relate to this poem.
I liekd this the more it went on. It really did have a lot of emotion to it, but it seemed to be a more "quiet" poem. Does that make sense? I hope so. I did enjoy it though, I liked the adjectives you chose for it. I liked lines "in the good old days daddies never really went away, and for now, my blue eyes are crying, crying in the rain." For some reason I keep thinking "pain" would go better here...of course things would have to be reworded, your crying could be the rain, that way you would...
This was okay, I guess if I still had a life style of drinking then maybe I would like it more, lol. I think the last line might sound better as " could be so much fun." Seems like it needs to be a little longer to flow with the rest.
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