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NathanI's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 03
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 03
Just a freethought writer, no time for much else
Items
Version 3
5 Reviews
0 Comments
I was lost. I saw nothing but chaos in front of me. I was scared. I now have to make my own way through. I pause and relax. I turn around and reflect on the path that I have left behind me. A path that was a journey to get me where i am today. Maybe i climbed mountains when rolling hills were right there. Maybe i waded through muck and filth when a welcoming plain was within reach. A reflection is not a regret or even a victory soiree, just a reflection, a pause, a moment. I am still afflicte...
Version 2
2 Reviews
0 Comments
I was lost. I saw nothing but chaos in front of me. I was scared. I now have to make my own way through. I pause and relax. I turn around and reflect on the path that I have left behind me. A path that was a journey to get me where i am today. Maybe i climbed mountains when rolling hills were right there. Maybe i waded through muck and filth when a welcoming plain was within reach. A reflection is not a regret or even a victory soiree, just a reflection, a pause, a moment. I am still afflicte...
Version 1
2 Reviews
5 Comments
The crysal tears crawl slowly down his adolescent face, the culmination of sadness and joy apexed at the corner of his eye. His arms steady reaching out waiting for the acknowledgement of an embrace. His mother rushes to him burying her moist reddened face in his shoulder, his father waiting patiently yet eager with anticipation. This is his boy, the son, the legacy. Mother will not let go, that was a foregone conclusion, she will anchor to his side until he pries her away begging for privac...
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
I look but dont touch, yet can feel the pressure, I speak with no words yet am heard loud and clear, my words have become a tool sharpened over time. Why cant i live in a world with no lines, boundries are a must to keep me in my place. I can tell it wears, the lines spread to my face. This is a small leak from my fountain of acerbity, questions without answers, statements without inquiry. This is a mindfull rant, channeled psychosis, talking to myself and recording for all to hear. I dont do...
Version 1
6 Reviews
4 Comments
soon the decisions of our immediate future will be upon us, and the question is at hand, what will you do, are you going to accept the responsibility laid at your feet by your peers, or will you turn the other cheek and pretend the problem doesnt exist. children without healthcare, families who cant afford their bills, there is a measure of accountability that must be understood, our job is not to care for those who can not care for themselves, but to care for those whose ability to do so has...
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Reviews
With what appears to be an ending(in the most final sense) there is no substance you descriptions were to the point yet vague this is whether intended or not a very religious piece and can incite strong feelings both ways, perhaps consider putting this in a category as such. I really think you should dive into the ramifications of this conclusion and draw this out with perspective and instill less of a sense of shortsighted finality. "If god is fighting himself and god is all that is good how...
Your imagintion is impressive, as is your general ability to convey an words into an image. However this piece was awful a poor twist on an old tale. it lacked any substance you created dead ends and it appears you werent entirely sure where you were going to go when you started. Avoid remakes they are never as good as the original. Stretch your imagination and create an original alternate reality and take the reader for a ride.
Although this is a genre i dont normally enjoy, this was fairly well written. your descriptions were lacking some detail but most of the characters were dispatched quickly not needing much, however your monster was a little vaugue. I cannot give a very detailed critique because i am missing so much of the story, but from what I have read it seems that you could be well on your way to an independent publisher with this in the near future.
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