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NikkiOneEve's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 27
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 27
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Version 1
14 Reviews
4 Comments
Being ravished is like a dog ripping the flesh of a bone to him he's just doing what comes natural a beast with an appetite for rage supplying his body with the substance, he craves at your expense lying their getting picked away your hearts throbbing as his panting increases nestled at the back of the throat are two tiny words please stop! but animals cannot comprehend you have become transparent to the animal hovering over your last strip of diginty being tossed to the side like your clothe...
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Well written and the usage of your words were very detailed personally it felt so melodramatic. I felt like I was reading a eulogy to writing and I was sad after reading it.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I enjoyed this poem and I feel the pain in the words I wanted to know what caused this pain in reading this it seemed like a broken heart,or rejection.It was really heartfelt if you were trying to project the pain you did do that.
page 8 acrid metallic taste of fear seems off putting to much emphasis in the sentence maybe just saying the sure taste of fear was metallic.I know you said you didn't need a english lesson but putting the story in a steady flow tense matters page 9 I feel like someone kicked me how about I felt like. Page 12 the smoke is thick and lungs are burning who's lungs are burning?I am saying that the story has some substance but the few places you get off course and that can bring the whole story do...
I enjoyed it.It was smooth the sounds were dancing in your words.It described love of music and all that comes with this love.It was well written simply put a very attractive piece of poetry.
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