I give this an 8 for expressive context . I really like the contrast depicted through the combinations of words you use . Like , " The fugitive seeks The ephemeral. What endures Flees the transient." or "Events expire Perfume:" Ilike this alot but do find the rhythm a little evasive . But then , I don't know your writing style at all , as this is my first comment to you ever . But nice to make your aquaintance , and keep up the good work ! Noah

well I rate this a 6 but only because it'sobviously not finished . There is alot of potential here tho ! It's flow is almost there . "Panic buttons wait to scream when you reveal your true self staff, confidants, enemies" This one of the parts that''s right "there" if you know what I mean . "staff, confidants(and)enemies" . . . . . . . .maybe . But it's a very desciptive peice nonetheless . very easy to "see" into that world . Good writing , keep it up !

Outstanding poem ! One pet peeve tho . "who with i could grow old" This just kills it for me . The phrase is perfect but the simple re-arrangement of who with , to , with whom i could grow old , would make it soo much better for me . I think this would keep the flow better and make it consistent in it . It just happens to be right in that crucial middle part , in a pivotal point of the piece . But I think this poem is great , othere than that , just the way it is . And I like your point of vi...

I dig it . Nice flow till the end and then , a little loop , but I like it all the same . the only thing is , it's alittle hard to visualize exactly , "Fucking the thermostat Of a riveted mind" N.

For the past few moments I have been shattered , into the world of deer and this old man . There are some incredibly complex rhythms here , and I have not been swept into a poem so wholly in a long time . Thank You , I needed that . That being said , I must point out that I was thrown for a loop early in the beginning . Iguess all in all , I just wasn't prepared to stumble upon this piece . N.

This a beautiful poem and the subject matter is endless . I got lost in those eyes through you . Thank you . One type-o tho . "They hurt me. I see to much in them." too That's it . I think you're really talnted so, keep writing !!!

Well I'm a poet but , You're story drew me right in and kept me well . And I was left wanting more , so , Good job ! I think maybe in the beginning it was a bit dry but , as soon as the dialogue started it was very captivating . You did a good job of , in a short space , developing your characters and showing their relationships and bond . I enjoyed this very much Thank You N.

I can really relate to this poem , having been that nice guy for too long ! This is very eloquently written , the subject is clear and concise and it is also entertaining . N.

I find this piece to be very humanly sensual (if that makes sense). The honesty of it strikes me right off the bat , yet , it really shows your vulnerable side , and it's also a very simple poem about a subject alot of us don't find to be that simple at all ! Nice job ! 9

This is amazing ! My comment is caught in my throat . uuuhhh . . . . . You "call the songs within" me ,for sure , "from the very night " of my present state . It's been a long time , and I won't waste your credits to say hi , but . . . . This poem/Story inspires me like I've been living for it , up till now . Thank you ! The cat knows . I'll send you a message .