Obsidian's profile

It is an interesting use of language. It is a direct statement with a little quirk. I like he fact that you strayed away from the conventionalities of language and chose this manner of expressing a thought, as was using numbers intead of vowels. There are two main things that I get out of this, the genius of the human ability to understand as well as the limitation of language, and secondly the fact that it refers back to the author's parent. As to what that means, I do not want to bore you w...

You seem to have a good control of language and a good control of pace in your story, but there is one major issue that you must address. I will try to say this swiftly so that you do not have to waste too many credits opening this, but basically you seem to have almost no ambiance. There seems to be a nonexisstent setting and you must bring it out to the surface. Do not be afraid to describe the background, the place, and the feel. Also, one thing I would advise you to do, but you do not hav...

Okay, I thought there were a lot of things to like about this piece. I haven't really read the other four so excuse me if due to this I do not get the essence of your book. First off I thought that you book organization was good and the beginning was well paced and expressed quite well. Your writing has a good flair that entices the reader and makes him read on. I did think that the entrance of the ogres was a little forced though and that got me a little off. I think your pace was destroyed ...