Opaquity's profile

Opaquity avatar
AGE: 17
LOC: Dallas, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 03

I’ve lost it.
I’m sorry.

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Version 1
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With our hands clenched and our teeth bared, our shoulder braced for impact. We slid through the mist of the mind, and cloaked ourselves in hatred. Immortal together we'd be. Forever together, we'll see. When enough wasn't enough anymore, and truth was all a lie, I watched you in my own fog, and told you it was time. We'd be enough for enough. And follow the trail to the tip. But where the concrete ends is vital, be careful not to trip. I'd follow you forever, if you would light that way. Bu...
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Don't Blame The Animals Desperation breeds hatred and I'm no longer feared. But I don't know if I want to be here when the ball drops start the countdown to the middle of my cock oh and start on the countdown to the center of my clock and and start with the countdown when I can't resist the shock But the shock isn't fearful it's perfectly fine My eyes aren't tear-filled I'm perfectly fine. don't look at me like there's something beneath the surface screaming screaming screaming, not me. Despe...
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Lyrics / Happy
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A day in my youth a friend said to me, "I'm so sad, so sad, you see." But sad isn't so sad, really. Sad is kind of a happy thing. I said to her, "at least you still feel it." I said to her, "at least you still know." I said to her, "if you're sad you can love." I said to her, "if you're sad you can grow." A day of my childhood, a sibling told me, "I'm angry, so angry, you see." But angry's not so bad, really. Angry's another happy thing. I said to him, "At least you still feel it." I said to ...
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Lyrics / Dream.
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Dream. What is it that you are after? What is it that you need? I'm not anyone's redeeming factor, and I'm not the type to weep. And what is it that you are after I've nothing to offer that you don't have.Dream for me, when I can't whisper. And think of me, when I'm too far. But do, for me, as I've done by you. And pray, when I'm in need. And what is it that you seem to want, I've nothing to give that could help you. I'm not anyone's redeeming factor, and I'm not the type to weep. Who could i...
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Version 1
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You're watching... still. I know it. I can feel you watching me. Don't bother looking away, but your thoughts bring mine to you. I can't seem to escape. I wish you would allow it. You don't know what you're doing to me. Keeping me here. Binding me. Restraining and containing me. Let me go. No! My cage seems to be comforting, you keep me in darkness. I burrow closer, seeking warmth. But I'm left cold. And alone. I know you peek at me. You're watching. Now. Can you see me? Scribbling and writin...
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Poetry / Words
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Lover and child? Is it one or different people? It's very... quick and vague. This does cause a pause in my thinking, but it's fine. Particularity wouldn't really suit something this ghost-like. I find myself wanting more description... nevertheless, good all around.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Rebirth: Ode to Suicide.
One niggle: "I must first kill my old self..." Makes it sound as if your "old self" is already dead... but I understand the problem this can cause, because if you said, "kill myself" it would reinstate the physical reminder of suicide, and that's not the cause at all... I can't say for sure that it would be regained in the philosophical way of thinking further on, but it does seem to be the best option. That it. Good overall. I like it.
You have talent worth shaping but you may not be reviewed by all readers because of the subject matter. The image this pulls is rather morbid. I think visually, and I saw letters and words being born in the many ways more organic creatures are born... if I had the patience I would paint it. The piece struggles in the beginning, I think, but redeems itself highly throughout the rest of it, so that doesn't matter. The ending it superb. Change nothing. (except maybe adding a spot more syntax?)