PELICAN42's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 26
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 26
www.myspace.com/futureownerofstarbucks
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Version 1
30 Reviews
0 Comments
SYringes littered the apartment room floor. That was what caught my eye first but not the least of what made the apartment a horrible looking place. THe windows were covered with tinfoil letting no light enter and all other sources of light have bean shattered to peaces and are lying on the floor. The only way i was seeing anything was the light coming from the hall way and the officers flash lights. From what i could see every item in the room had bean mutilated. Parts of the kitchen were in...
Version 1
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is a short story of a guy who lives in New York who has an over whelming affetion for a girl he never met never saw, never met, and in reality never exsisted. This person who he fell in love with and did what ever he could to meet never walked any plane except in the dreams of this man. The man's name was Micheal. He was 23 at the time and almost always looked proper and when in publick tryed to be as ellegant and classy as humanly possible and the story (filled with spelling errors and lack ...
Version 1
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I always thougth the subway was the one of the greatest parts of New York. Between the bad guitar playing and the worse paintings on the wall there was alot of culture and indiviguality. I walked down the stairs still sourounded by people and swiped my pass and luckily waited about ten seconts for my ride. I entered along with about 10 people behind me and sat at the very back. The car was rather empty with only about 30 people. I stared out the window into a black wall as we began moving. Th...
Version 1
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I arrived at my stop and i headed to the office. It was only a short walk from the station to the building. The building it self looked like a dwarf compared to the others and was the ugliest one for miles. Micheal walked inside (which looked worse then the outside) and stood in front of the elevator along with a dozen other people. After the door opened me along with everyone else walked in hitting the buttons they needed as they entered. My destination was the 13th floor. The elevator went...
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You wrote 2901 words. THe average book is about 70,000 - 90,000. It seemed as if this flowed very easily for the person to write. I had a strong sence as a reader that you have great writing skill but dont have any ideas. And dont worry, all writers are their own greatest critic. Publishing has little to do with the book and more of how to represent it. depending on how serious you are you might want to find a publishing agent. I forgot what they are called but they will represent you and tak...
I was going to go on and on about how i thougth this seemed like part of a larger story. Then i read it was part of a larger story so now i dont know what to write. Hard to write a review only know part of the story but oh well. From what i read, what are these brothers fighting about always? Is it just because they are brothers? If so, say so. And if you did say so i appologize( i have missed things like that before). How did what ever ( i say what ever because i dont know if the events lead...
Great out of the box thinking, but there seems that there are sentances missing that would of made some of the para graphs less random from sentance to sentance. IT is easy to tell you have a clear picture in your mind.
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