Patrick14's profile

This poem, was very discriptive and i liked your style of writing. It flowed well. I wouldnt correct really much of anything. You could play around with words and i think maybe describing how you would eat this fruit would be cool. really there is a good piece. thank you for letting me review your writing. thank you Patrick Paul please check out my poetry.

Definetly different, to be honest i might be a bit lost on the meaning of it. That does not mean i didnt like. It was strange but entertaing. This was a good free write, and with free writes i dont think there should be any limitations or corrections. I was wondering about the last line, did you connect it to the two previous lines above. for example-I’ve hidden a rainbow inside a Russian Nesting Doll is the rainbow suppose to connect to the everlasting gobstopper and the russian doll connect...

I like the ending alot, i didnt think it was going to end like that. I first thought the poem was about katrina, but it could be about something else. You used a very simple style when writing it. Which is not bad i think you can easily change the style of the poem and keep the content or main idea. For example -the River has washed away the “Union Forever!” spray painted on the brick walls of the abandoned movie theatre. could be The river washed away "Union Forever" leaving chunks of spray ...