I love the story here! Absolutely beautifully done..Though your conisistancy seems lacking a bit you in the beging insisted capital letters at the being of each line but it began to taper off.. Keep up the good work!

I really like this quote.. I can't say why but it is really striking. What book is this from? Personal one your writing or one your reading?

Truth flow free through thou words, impressive I must say. Colors belong to the sunsets, flowers and rainbows, not to the tongue in vain against another. Even more so when it comes down to pure truth we are all the same.. we are human its only our culture that makes us different. Its our actions, and words spoken from minds our own that define us. Good job. I hope to see more work of yours. :)

First off extremely beautiful and inspiring, I enjoyed it deeply. For your work I understand the writer can choose to break any rule they wish in writing poetry as long as there is consistancy... you started with using lower case letters and then you threw in two capital letters I'm not sure if it was a slip... or it was done with intent.. 'i’m thinking of you right know and its almost midnight' (I'm not sure.. but did you mean now? slight slip but it makes things read a whole lot smoother :)...

I can find nothing wrong with this piece... I love the intricate way you placed your words it really gives more to the poem, which in itself is stunning I would have to say one of my favorites. Keep up the good work I hope I get the chance to read more from you.

I'll tell you, plain out I find nothing wrong with this except for a minor mistake in your finishing line.. something about this piece strikes me in a manner I don't quite understand, but I love it! Keep up the good work.. As for the minor mistake: 'how fresh organic authentic “I” used to taste.' ( you can drop the 'd' in use...but thats the only thing I've found) :)

‘the piece is is still sketching’ (I’m not sure but did you mean: the piece she is still ??) “the clouds drift across the sky, looking like little lost sheep waiting for the sun to heard them” (every time a read this line I found it a bit hard to read.. and kept getting this in my mind: ‘Looking as if they were little lost sheep waiting for the shepherding sun to heard them,’ very nice imagery though. ☺ ) Spelling errors: irrelivant – irrelevant lastest - latest stoping - stopping emphasise –...

I believe I read this before.. from you.. but I think you've changed a characters name... but over all I would run through it again your self and see if you pick up on some of the mistakes.. but one that stuck out the most to me was this one: 'you may not have noticed, but the cause of death on the last hunter was an arrow' on I believe should be of? I'm not sure.. but over all is a good read..

The title decieves the contents of the poem methinks, but for one who does not write poetry I dare say you should be proud of this one. You've created a beautiful piece that makes people think, and creates a blissful yet even a grossom image. Keep up the good work.

This is a beautiful piece, a gorgeous display of what you see in this woman.. but one thing that disappointed me is when you jumped from all two line stanza's to three and one then to two again.. I got so use to the two lines, but it does not in any way hinder the piece. Keep up the good work.