Peteycat's profile
AGE:
37
LOC: Columbus, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 24
LOC: Columbus, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 24
I’m a 34 year old run-of-the-mill dude, hailing from a burb of Columbus, Ohio. I’m a former high school English teacher, who left the classroom, in part due to philosophical differences with the current state of the profession, but also so that I could dedicate more time to my real professional goal of becoming a published novelist.
My current dedicated project is a Sci/Fi novel, titled- “A Hole in Heaven”. I’ve also been known to produce the occasional poem, the quality of which is open to debate.
I’ve joined Urbis as a forum to showcase samples of my work, network contacts and conspiritors, and garner feedback. If a reputable agent or publisher happens upon my work and expresses interest, then all the better.
I may also be…
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Version 1
6 Reviews
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The darkness beyond the BMW’s headlamps flickered and writhed before Bryant’s vision. It fluttered like a mass of black birds, startled to sudden flight. He blinked several times. It passed. There was just the road. A short bridge stretched just ahead of them. Not a bridge he recognized. It glowed with a pulsing luminescence. He tried to rationalize himself out of his disorientation. “How did that get-” The BMW issued a sharp alarm. The digital screen flashed red: impending disaster. Yet, Br...
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Version 2
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Book I From the Dust ♠ Prologue He’d questioned only for a moment. Judging from what he’d seen of the car’s violent trajectory, it must rest at least fifty yards below them, bearing right upon their descent from the ridge-top. “Did you cause this?” “No.” he assured, “No, this was not my doing.” “Then how did you know?” his protégé asked. “Save your questions.” the elder man puffed, “I must spend my breath on breathing. I’ve not your advantage of youth.” He came to a halt, grappling a tree li...
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Version 1
5 Reviews
5 Comments
Bryant had decided GeePerS drove like shit. The computerized chauffer directed the trajectory of Bryant’s BMW with infinite care. It made him fidget. Sure, the journey would be fast, smooth and safe. The GeePerS Mass Transit Coordinating Matrix virtually eliminated traffic congestion; struck another crippling blow to transportation pollution; nearly saw an end to automobile accidents; and took all the fun out of driving. Capable of tracking, monitoring, and directing millions of vehicles sim...
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Version 1
12 Reviews
6 Comments
I. The dead man sat at the foot of the bed. His wife, unaware, sat in a chair pulled close by. Though living, she sat as in death. She scarcely breathed. Her body held in a posture of quiet torment upon the edge of the chair, forearms resting upon the edge of the bed, hands clasped tight upon the edge of grief undiluted. Her eyes fixed upon the face of the small, ruined form lying motionless in the bed. Bryant wasn’t used to being dead yet. The fact in and of itself didn’t trouble him in par...
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Version 1
12 Reviews
1 Comment
Book I From the Dust ♠ Prologue He’d questioned only for a moment. Judging from what he’d seen of the car’s violent trajectory, it must rest at least fifty yards below them, bearing right upon their descent from the ridge-top. “Did you cause this?” “No.” he assured, “No, this was not my doing.” “Then how did you know?” his protégé asked. “Save your questions.” the elder man puffed, “I must spend my breath on breathing. I’ve not your advantage of youth.” He came to a halt, grappling a tree li...
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You're a fantastic writer. I won't say much on the technical side, because you obviously know your stuff. There were a few little errors, nothing you wouldn't catch yourself given a careful read-over. The only technical aspect I would have you consider is the tendency toward long sentences. I too tend toward long descriptive sentences. Your command of grammer is such that for the most part you pull them off, and to great effect. However, there were enough points where I felt a single sentenc...
Regarding the sentiment of your rant, I can only say- AMEN!!! That kudo aside, I turn to the writing in and of itself. I'm not certain what sort of review you might be looking for, or what your ultimate goal for this piece is. If it is only intended as merely a colloquial telling-off of your more superstitious friends and aquaintances, with aspirations no greater than to stanch the inundation of insipid chain emails; then I will leave it at my "amen", add a "good luck", and sigh over the nob...
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Interesting. I am certainly intrigued and curious as to where you will go with this. I am inclined to agree with you that the purpose of a prologue is not to give the story, but to hook one into it, and as such can give itself to being somewhat vague. I infer that you've heard otherwise and been critiqued for not giving enough info regarding the plot. My own prologue was roundly critiqued for the same. I suspect this might be a matter of semantics. The literal definition of a "prologue" that...
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This sounds like it could be a very compelling story. The specifics of a plot have not been revealed yet, but the set-up definitely shows some promise, and that you apparently have the real experience to mine for the sake of verisimilitude gives you credentials for this sort of story. Having a brother who is a former Ranger - a veteran of Haiti, Bosnia, and Clinton’s covert ops against the drug cartels during the nineties; as well as a brother-in-law who is a recent veteran of Iraq - fightin...
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