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LOC: Wichita, KS
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LAST LOGIN: October 11
LOC: Wichita, KS
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 11
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Version 2
4 Reviews
0 Comments
LOST INSIDE MY HEAD Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. Clifton Fadiman The display time on the microwave read 2:48. It's dark outside and most of the wailing traffic along the highway, which sets outside my window, has faded to the low howling winds blowing across a lonely stretch of dimly-lit road, seemingly leading to nowhere. The neon blue numbers have a brilliant shine bright enough to bathe the...
Version 2
8 Reviews
0 Comments
ZOMBIE In the end days, The Spirit of the Lord will be lifted from the earth, and Hell shall be unleashed upon it. Biblical Prophecy My name is Kane Atherton. I'm 27 years old, married with two children, and today during my lunch break, I will go home to murder my wife and best friend. They have been secretly seeing each other behind my back, and now I have proof. Once I get there: I will enter my bedroom where they will be making love, and I will then unload eigh...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
ZOMBIE In the end days, The Spirit of the Lord will be lifted from the earth, and Hell shall be unleashed upon it. Biblical Prophecy My name is Kane Atherton. I’m 27 years old, married with two children, and today during my lunch break, I will go home to murder my wife and best friend. They have been secretly seeing each other behind my back, and now I have proof. Once I get there: I will enter my bedroom where they will be making love, and I will then unload eight shotgun shells into the...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. ~Clifton Fadiman The display time on the microwave read 2:48. It’s dark outside and most of the wailing traffic along the highway, which sets outside my window, has faded to the low howling winds blowing across a lonely stretch of dimly-lit road, seemingly leading to nowhere. The neon blue numbers have a brilliant shine bright enough to bathe the entire kitchen a soft glowing hue...
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Reviews
I thought that this was very well written. You have a very good talent at your dialog. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors that I could notice, but other than that, great job! Did you say that the story was completed, or it is still in the working process. I hope to read more soon. Also, I think I could get a better standing of the actual story if there were more descriptions to start from the beginning. Thanks, and take care.
Did you say that you are going to put this into your "next" book? So you already have been published? I thought this was a really neat story; you have a very vivid imagination.
Although I am not much of a Fantasy reader, I must admit that this story was very well written. A few parts I had to stop and reread, because the flow sort of stopped. Again, maybe it’s just the style of writing. I made some notes, and my queries are in “(AAAAA)” format: Faradhar grinned in spite of his weariness. Drav defied the stereotypical warrior, being both intelligent and articulate. He would have made an excellent addition to the ranks of Lorewielders had fate not set “(sent)” him dow...
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Where's the rest of the story? It cuts off at the end. If this isn't your story, whose is it?
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