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PiercePresley's profile
AGE:
38
LOC: San Antonio, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 24
LOC: San Antonio, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 24
Arkansawyer.
Former Marine.
Journalist.
Stay-at-home father.
Items
Version 2
38 Reviews
4 Comments
some think poetry is easy assembly line || word and rhyme sun rays refracting through dew drops pastoralidyllicboring imagery flouncing around in mist like so many bovine ballerinas poems are not a cattle-call where young words freshly-shorn, await their fate in blank hallways for odes or epics or narratives forming into columns and marching down the white field da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-ha...
Version 1
35 Reviews
8 Comments
Wired like a dog hooked on an electric fence I sit awake, again Trying to find the way to sleep Like so many nights before The pulse in my head continues Thought follows thought, overlapping There is no respite Only endless agony I do all the stupid things That don't address this But salve somewhat the symptoms And keep me from going insane Writing this is one of them It does nothing for my sleep But it eases the pain somewhat Distracting me from my misery And so I sit and write And watch the...
Version 1
28 Reviews
5 Comments
some think poetry is easy assembly line || word and rhyme sun rays refracting through dew drops pastoralidyllicboring imagery flouncing around in mist like so many bovine ballerinas poems are not a cattle-call where young words freshly-shorn, await their fate in blank hallways for odes or epics or narratives forming into columns and marching down the white field da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-hah da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum hoo-hah hoo-hah hoo-ha...
Version 1
36 Reviews
7 Comments
Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlewind, and sayd, “Who is this that darkneth counsell by words without knowledge?” —from Job chapter 38, King James Bible “I can only do it because I’m scared of you” she squeak-squealed from tightened larynx the fear the truth beating on me like the sun in the dark bedroom I had mastery and it tasted like acid in the back of my throat I kept her So she wouldn’t suffer She did so much not withstanding ego defacement from parents before I came And unlo...
Version 1
36 Reviews
5 Comments
Skye and I walked the unguarded path pressed by great green walls sun shining splintered broken shards on packed dirt we were not friends here but rivals we strove for glory quickly came the attack quick as light little people explode from garish green brush I was taken looked into his eyes he wrote my death there, watched my capturing moon peeks from behind gray swaying trees rays land softly on packed earth I laid on a table strapped to the wood a sacrifice to an unnamed god the witch docto...
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Reviews
A pretty good work overall. There are some uneven spots, diction errors like "forgot" for "forget", some bad breaks that mar the flow of the words, some places that need some punctuation. I'm not sure about the change in tone in the third and fourth stanza—it seems a bit abrupt to me. I might put something in to soften the transition.
There's not much to this, found it really thin and reedy. I'm not sure you're doing yourself any favors with the rhyme scheme--it seems like you're doing it just to do it (and it gets broken in the last stanza for no apparent reason). There's some decent juxtaposition in "I'll turn you off — that turns me on", but it's not enough.
Not a bad limerick--a little dirty, a little funny, even a little Irish. There's a nice flow to the words that doesn't seem forced, a common failing in limerickdom. This would be at home among the "man from Nantucket" sort of poems. Delightful little thing, really.
Ah, how to drive readers to your blog, the eternal (or at least, since last year) question. Outside of technical, SEO, Ad Words, etc. sort of things, there are some things you could do with your writing to make your blog more inviting. First, there is a bit of bloat in the early section (which should clearly be labeled a hypothetical or a reader's question or whatever in any case); you should remember that blog readers don't want a lot of detail generally speaking. Make your case short and sw...
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