PrincesswriterC's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 25
LOC: Cleveland, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 25
I am a story teller. Visit me at imastoryteller.com
I love happy endings. If you are of like mind,check out my stuff and let me know what you think.
Items
Version 4
2 Reviews
1 Comment
The Date – No, the Dinner Not a Date Everything, I can’t have by Robin Thicke pulsating salsa beat triumphed throughout Gracie’s home as she blew out the candles and opened the windows of her house to let the fresh summer breezes defuse the scent of roses that generally dominated her home. Dinner was warming and Gracie wanted her dinner’s scent to be want danced in the air with the breeze. Gracie’s golden brown face was cleaned of makeup except mascara and a light shade of lip gloss and she ...
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
The Date – No, the Dinner Not a Date Everything, I can’t have by Robin Thicke pulsating salsa beat triumphed throughout Gracie’s home as she blew out the candles and opened the windows of her house to let the fresh summer breezes defuse the scent of roses that generally dominated her home. Dinner was warming and Gracie wanted her dinner’s scent to be want danced in the air with the breeze. Gracie’s golden brown face was cleaned of makeup except mascara and a light shade of lip gloss and she ...
Version 1
7 Reviews
10 Comments
Fat story - One American’s tale! You laughed didn’t you? It’s time for a good laugh you thought as you read the title of my story. Let’s read about the fat lady. Yeah I know. I laugh too when I see someone grossly larger than my five foot five, two hundred pound frame. I mean I am not that fat and I have curves in all the right places so I don’t show my obesity like most Americans. But the truth of the matter is, I am obese by 40 pounds. I am horribly addicted to food. It has always been that...
Version 4
6 Reviews
6 Comments
The party was a success. I drove home with Maggie in the passenger seat next to me, while I went on raving about the night. I had so much fun. The games were great! The food was delicious. I met two new guys that were so cute. In my excitement I hadn't noticed my comments and questions were responded by one word answers and mostly silence. I looked over to Maggie who was looking straight ahead through the front window. "What's wrong?" “Nothing!” was her response. "Come on Maggie don't do this...
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
The party was a success. I drove home with Maggie in the passenger seat next to me, while I went on raving about the night. I had so much fun. The games were great! The food was delicious. I met two new guys that were so cute. In my excitement I hadn't noticed my comments and questions were responded by one word answers and mostly silence. I looked over to Maggie who was looking straight ahead through the front window. "What's wrong?" “Nothing!” was her response. "Come on Maggie don't do this...
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Reviews
Dear Sir, What a great story. Tears welled in my eyes as I came to the ending. Very well written, thought out and you did a great job of reading this account out loud to make certain it was understandable before you sent it to us, the reader. If there was one thing I feel would improve it, is the introduction was a bit long, and rambled. I felt you could have been more succinct in telling us the financial condition of the family. I was getting bored with the redundancy. Though I am thrilled I...
I wanted so much to understand this story however I have no idea what the significance of the boots were or the chicken soup. Maybe it was the last sentence as I could only assume the host was requesting the new guest Sonny to take his boots off. None of this story made sense to me.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
ROCKIN Chorus! For it seems she was never her - That doesn't make sense in the verse it was grouped with. That is the only awkward line but the rest is really good. I imagine you have a strong instrumental to go with this piece since it's so short. Good job
... hands hold and lips find eachother’s. (each other's) I like the voice of desperation in this story. Good job. The ending however did nothing for me I was left in want, not knowing what you were trying to tell me the reader. That is sad for such a strong start. Smile, Princess
I liked the story till afterward I read your notes, and yes you are right that you did not clearly portray his condition, and that he killed this woman. There were not many errors in your story at all. Bee-line > should be > Beeline Surely should have a comma after it > Surely, she would be troubled... I look forward to your revised version. I'd like to see how you connect the story.
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