“…And now here’s Sarah, with your Essential Fashion News.” I recognise Sarah; she used to be a political correspondent. She must have realised it was too risky for someone as smiley as she is. They’re all desperately afraid of fucking up on telly now – it’s a lot more dangerous than just ending up on one of those outtake programs a month afterwards; a smile at the wrong moment can be interpreted as a smirk, and smirking when you’re informing the nation of new government policies is not a wise...

Men in offices lined with textbooks, whose contents they have barely glimpsed. Women with patronising praise tiptoe around you. These people decide your fate. Panic buttons wait to scream when you reveal your true self - staff, confidants, enemies insist they only want to help; smiles, gold stars, false applause when you reach their targets. On the other side of sliding doors members of the elite wait to welcome you back with open arms; awkward glances is how they ask you to hide away the sca...

GETTING OFF I I am a denotation Of a detonation Button Waiting to implode, Envelope us all in tragedy; Repaying in drama whatever I’m owed. Is she liking this? But of course, Since we all long for purpose. It is only the instability, The danger to you I encompass, That causes me distress. II Selfish in sleep and sex, we gasp into pillows; all the people, all global concerns, ceasing to exist. We must sicken at how each moment that allows us, briefly, to be ourselves, reveals our own company u...

CONDITIONAL KINDNESS I aim to befriend a lonely child, the kind who spends their playtimes staring at brick walls. I know how it is, to be pushed down for daring to stand up. My potential prodigy; crying out for recognition on the sidelines of the football pitch, needing only to be nurtured. But they’re all so wary, some lacking gratitude, throwing stones or dirty looks; some mistaking my extended hand of friendship for an unexploded bomb.

The News made me laugh today…I never thought that would happen. Not now, times like these and all that. There was a Lady in the Fashion bit, talking to the Lady Presenter, both turning their big smiles on each other like intense lasers. Nervous smiles, though, you could tell. No one wants to fuck up on telly any more – it’s a lot more dangerous than just ending up on one of those Outtake programs a month afterwards – a smile at the wrong moment can be interpreted as a smirk, and smirking when...

It doesn’t take much; a lady driver, stopping, waving me across the road, even if only to step before the oncoming grille of a vehicle in the other lane, it does not matter, for it is the gesture that counts. Sometimes I feel so light… …as if I could float beyond the claws of my existence, and disperse through the sky (which is more than mere science, however persistently they try to persuade me otherwise) and it is here I become worried. It would be just my luck to get shot; another name fil...

HAPPINESS Happiness Seeing her… Like a butterfly bringing beauty to nettles with each brief touchdown it makes, like a sunset viewed from the top deck of a city bus, reducing you to exhilarated tears, she is my hot chocolate protection from vicious, personal rain Being near her… Akin to leaning against friendly breeze and sensing salty spray upon your face, akin to a stroll through welcoming trees with sunlight filtering through the shade, she is every lung-expanding chorus of my everlasting ...

GETTING OFF I I am a denotation Of a detonation Button Waiting to implode, Envelope us all in tragedy; Repaying in drama whatever I’m owed. Is she liking this? But of course, Since we all long for purpose. It is only the instability, The danger to you I encompass, That causes me distress. II Selfish in sleep and sex, we gasp into pillows; all the people, all global concerns, ceasing to exist. We must sicken at how each moment that allows us briefly to be ourselves, reveals our own company und...

GETTING OFF I I am a denotation Of a detonation Button Waiting to implode, Envelope us all in tragedy; Repaying in drama whatever I’m owed. Is she liking this? But of course, Since we all long for purpose. It is only the instability, The danger to you I encompass, That causes me distress. II Selfish in sleep and sex, we gasp into pillows; people and global concerns cease to exist. Momentarily allowed to truly be ourselves, it seems we all discover our own company lacking; the mundane, hollow ...

GETTING OFF I I am a denotation Of a detonation Button Waiting to implode, Envelope us all in tragedy; Repaying in drama whatever I’m owed. Is she liking this? But of course, Since we all long for purpose. It is only the instability, The danger to you I encompass, That causes me distress. II Selfish in sleep and sex, we gasp into pillows; people and global concerns cease to exist. Indulgence allows us to truly be ourselves; we must surely be disgusting to permit things hollow as wages interfe...