Ravenmaster's profile

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AGE: 21
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 21

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Items
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
And the Shakers March to War Far below the universe Among the thoughtless brains I am sitting, quite in silence Awaiting summer rains. Then I listen, quite uncertainly To a new foreign sound- For the drum beats quite relentless And the Shakers march to war. It is night out, There is sunshine And the sky is black and white. I am frozen. There are children And a gun shot left to right. We are crying, She is dying And the only lasting sound Is the drum beat, quite relentless As the Shakers march...
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Version 1
10 Reviews   1 Comment
Of Psychopathic Dreams on the Transcontinental Railway The silver tracks are glistening in the early morning sun, Our 4-10-4 is rumbling, ready for the run. The great drive wheels are shaking and the steam is blowing hot The first conductors whistle breaks the silence like a shot. In New York’s central station, I am leaving for the west. The bickering and pretense is behind me with the rest Of my illusions and foul memories, that plague me like a ghost. I want to find a place where it’s the s...
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Poetry / Untitled
Version 1
8 Reviews   1 Comment
It was a dreary day in New York City, The rain came down in dogs and kitties, As they stood around the graves Of the four we’d lost that day. I stood alone upon a hill, With my bible and my quill. I had mourned them long ago, I couldn’t watch their bodies go Forever… The first, my sister, don’t you know Hair of brown and eyes of snow. She wore a yellow rosary And drove fast in that cam-ry Unwilling… The second, Joe, a fair musician, Now he’s friends with the mortician. Always wanted to be big...
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Version 1
9 Reviews   0 Comments
Beyond the Farther Shore ‘Her boat left dock at midnight’ Were the last words That were shouted By the dock man As I ran to find A savior in the night. It was a storming evening And she had left the shelter Of our warm and loving harbor, To sail out in a danger She’d never felt before. The S.S. St. John’s Army Was an old and battered sailboat, That was sailing fast to heaven, Beyond the farther shore. She was fighting with the rigging While the wind was tearing open The rainbow-patched canvas...
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Short Story / Telepath
Version 1
63 Reviews   2 Comments
“So what’s it like?” “What’s what like?” “Being a telepath.” “Oh. It’s tiring. Requires a lot of concentration, restraint.” “How so?” “I can read latent thoughts. All I have to do is look at someone and I can read their conscious mind. If I look into their eyes, I can go deeper, into memories, the subconscious…” “That doesn’t sound like restraint…” “To you, perhaps. But when you know everyone’s emotions, thoughts and opinions, it’s hard not to imprint a thought or idea to put them on the righ...
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Reviews
Ooo... Vampires. Very nice. Some of the language could be revised in the opening section- the flow is stuttered and it seems to leave some things missing. Perhaps more description and details can help. The middle section of dialouge is good, albeit a bit confusing. Again, perhaps a small re write. The end paragraphs close out the chapter well and lead us into what will hopefully be another good chapter.
Haiku/Senryu / TO BE IN LOVE
Pedestrian. A topic such as love should make me feel warm, not bad...
War, condensed in short Powerful, and still can be Quite scary at times...
Haiku/Senryu / Seventh Haiku--Life
Absolute, this poem In form and logic as well Perspective, anew.
Aww, come on, don't pick on Hemingway like that...
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