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Rebelsfire's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: Draper, UT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 21
LOC: Draper, UT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 21
Actually, now I’m fifteen. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, and obviously love to do so. However, I don’t plan to publish. I have written numerous short stories and have won NaNoWriMo the past two years. Generally, my stories are science fiction, even though I despise reading such. But that’s about it, now. :)
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"Freak." "Weirdo." "Nerd." "Computer Brain." These comments were normal for nerds like me: we were few and far between, the lowest on the high school totem pole. I was strange--even I knew that. The kids at school made fun of me, but I let them. After all, I was a freak. My mother, feeling some sort of pity for me, burned all of her cash to get me into an elite high school for the "gifted." Which meant that I might have a shot at friends. Of...
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Hmm. These were okay, I suppose, but things could be a little better. If possible, I suggest putting these in separate submissions, as they have nothing to do with each other. I enjoy your voice, though, and the first poem you have written is my favorite. Keep working!
"He fell back to the ground and felt the warmth engulf his chest." This line confused me a bit. It was awkwardly worded, maybe try for something a little more flowing? I really enjoyed this story. It was very concise, and your ending seemed to fit for such a short piece. Well done.
This poem is very lyrical. It's got a familiar feel to it, but the imagery is quite good. I enjoyed it. The theme throughout was quite good too. The entire piece was quite stirring, and I enjoyed it a lot.
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