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RedStar's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 03
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 03
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Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
I lack the ability to focus. A current one-track mind leading south across deserts, between mountains, surviving valleys and hot weather. Guide me. Take me south away from here. Away from the woman with the sequined, glimmering dress. Take me south, through your hills, to your valley, where I can nestle warm and tell stories of my solitary drive. And while I’m there I could relate to you the story of my love life, in a single night. It would start and end with you.
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
one day, poems will be written, wrapped in tight cellophane and packaged in large crates made heavy by all the 5 letter words. these poems will be shipped out, distributed to all the major department stores and sold as accessories for failing ensembles. after releasing them from their cellophane prisons, the words will be the new couture. Women will proudly parade in their 2006 William Carlos Williams or the Langston Hughes Fall Collection. men with money will run to their haberdashery and pu...
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Reviews
I love it. The parallel between snowfall and a drunken state is great. The final two lines in particular are a great punctuation to the poem. I look forward to more.
I like it. It really had...umm... bite. It may be personal preference, but I tend to like poems with "edge." This definitely fit the bill. Sounded honest, sincere, and not overly pretentious with syrupy metaphor or "lyrical" nonsense. In short, I dig it.
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