RemmickDF's profile

This is good. I have a feeling that I am missing something. I have never heard of Selene. So I am sure that my review is somewhat uninformed. That being said I think the peice in well written. I don't have anything critical to say. Makes me want to look out at a starry night.

Very nice, this is an excellent read for a cold winters days while drinking a cup of something to warm the chest and fog the mind.I have a few suggestions. I would not call this a short story in that it doesn’t seem to be fictitious. I would call it non fiction. I would drop the (‘s) from other’s in the line. I call his name, but realize that Jinx could care less about the box of frozen images and memories of other’s times and places. I would add a (s) to Mother’ in the line. As a child I thi...

How about "Breach" or “Breaching” for a title. –noun the leap of a whale above the surface of the water. –verb (used without object) to leap partly or completely out of the water, head first, and land on the back or belly with a resounding splash. I like it. Nice short, vivid language. It makes me feel the water. The only thing missing in my opinion is the sound. There is a huge variation in sound both under the water and out. Perhaps you can add a line about that? I think placing between lin...

I like this. My first suggestion is to revisit the length of each line. I noticed that beats are almost the same for each couplet. I would try to keep the beat even. Example: Whilst whispering woods blanket empty tombs, (10 beats) 'neath shallow graves shrouded in hexed gloom. (9 beats) This one could be fixed with "Beneath." You have the room in the line. Also I would separate each couplet. There are two problems with the rhyme. "Tombs" and "gloom" "Lost" and "Cloth" Sorry, but they do not r...