Ron's profile

Ron avatar
AGE: 33
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 16

My two loves are travel and writing. Naturally, I sometimes try to combine them. I have written a narrative nonfiction book, Africa’s not for Sissies about my misadventures traveling from Cape to Cairo. I’ll be previewing it online at: http://ron-ruby.blogspot.com

First off I want to say that I’m new to Ubris, but not new to writing or critiquing. I’ve critiqued at many writers groups and other online forums. Four years ago I made writing my life’s work, but as yet still can’t make a decent living at it. I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, and every couple of years when I would look back at what I wrote a couple of years ago, I usually thought, “that was crap,” even though…

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Novel Treatments / The Church of the Boob
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Her first waking thought was that it had all been a dream, or rather a terrible nightmare, but she soon realized it was no dream, and no amount of wishing it were would make it so. She had hoped the decision would be clear to her in the morning. In the past she had found that when faced with a difficult situation she had only to allow herself time and then she could make the right decision, but time was the one thing she didn’t have. The doctors had made that clear. She had to make a decision...
Ratings & Rankings
Query Letter / Africa's not for Sissies
Version 1
26 Reviews   8 Comments
Dear [agent name], Imagine: a gun pointed to your head because you walked up to the wrong house — drinking your own urine to survive in an endless desert — police threatening to take you to jail for five years, just for asking directions — or encountering a pride of lions, on foot, in the wild. Africa’s not for Sissies is a nonfiction narrative based on my travels, from the southern tip of Africa to the peak of Egypt’s Mount Sinai. As a backpacker on a shoestring budget, I often traveled as t...
Ratings & Rankings
Non-fiction / The Travel Clinic
Version 2
8 Reviews   0 Comments
“Travel can be a powerful force in changing our world into one where there is more understanding and less problems.” - scribbled on a washroom wall at a hostel “Only man with small penis pees in cubicle.” - also scribbled on the wall If you go to Africa, it will change you forever. A stranger at a dinner party once imprinted these words on me. He told tales of bribery, corruption, travel in broken-down buses, and guns everywhere. It sounded like a wild and dangerous place. When he said, “Go...
Ratings & Rankings
Non-fiction / The Travel Clinic
Version 1
34 Reviews   9 Comments
“Travel can be a powerful force in changing our world into one where there is more understanding and less problems.” - scribbled on a washroom wall at a hostel “Only man with small penis pees in cubicle.” - also scribbled on the wall CHAPTER 1: THE TRAVEL CLINIC If you go to Africa, it will change you forever. A stranger at a dinner party once imprinted these words on me. He told tales of bribery, corruption, travel in broken down buses, and guns everywhere. It sounded like a wild and dangero...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Non-fiction / The Errant Eye
Locked
I reviewed the first version of this letter and suggested many changes. All in all however, I have to say that your first version made a better initial impression on me. Now it may be simply because I’ve seen it before and now this feels “old”, I don’t know. But your first letter excited me. This one didn’t as much. Your first paragraph needs tightening up, you repeat “you would” twice and you overuse “that.” Also you have several unnecessary “of”’s in there. Actually, there are a lot of litt...
Non-fiction / Hunting Dinosaurs
Locked
Honestly this is very well written and packs an emotional wallop. But you have placed it here to get feedback and said you are interested in publishing it, so I will make the following suggestions in an effort to make a very fine piece even better. They may sound nitpicky, but truly, these issues need to be addressed to make it publication-ready. I have many problems with your use of the exclamation point: In two places: “If only it had been!” and “Suggested? I knew what he meant!” – I would ...