I like this poem, the language has a clipped and precise feel, but maintains the flow and fluidity that the reader expects. I especially like the way that enables the reader to use the theatre as a metaphor for other dramatic places/times in their lives. I am not sure whether this is deliberate as only the "memories" image hints to this idea, but whether this was planned or serendipity in synchronicity this is a truly wonderful by-product. I am now picturing my dad delivering the birds and th...

There is a slightly staccato and disjointed feel to this poem and whether it is deliberate or not I cannot help thinking that it detracts from the overall impact of the piece. Short lines are sometimes very effective at conveying short dramatic ideas and used to move the story of the piece on in punchy slices, they could have really worked here. For me though, in this piece, there is just too much of the short line device and not enough of the clear language, the story lurches and the pace is...

The second stanza of this piece is my personal favourite, it is a creative image having the dead living on their addictions and thriving on our mistakes, a touching sentiment too. The rest of the poem does not really say enough to me to provide any constructive criticism though. So I'll just say that there are some very intelligent images here, it may just need a bit more coherence, or a bit more incoherence, at the moment it lies frustratingly between the two.

The form and rhythm of this piece work well to create a nice flow to the words and images, but for me the images are a little cliched and could do with some more work. The middle stanza is probably the clearest example the image is good but "rape" is such an overused term in poetry that something really unusual has to be done with the concept in order to make the best use of it.

This poem has a wonderful dreamlike quality that aids the reader in grasping the idea that it is hazy memory. The images are wonderfully varied and original and while they demand that the reader revisits the work they do reward the reader for doing so. The only issue that I have is that last line, apart from starting it with the word "yet" which I always wonder about, the use of "only fools rush in" is too familiar and detracts from the originality which precedes it. Which is truly magical.

The language and imagery in this piece are very interesting and intense, and I suspect from the title that the overall goal was laudable but the piece left me a little cold. I am thinking that it may be the more esoteric references to catholicism. As a lapsed catholic myself, I was immediately drawn to the piece and the references to nuns and splintering rulers brought back memories and revived tales my mother told me, but all in all I did not feel that there was enough of a hook for the read...

I like the idea but the final line doesn't quite work for me. The question is too closed, it can be answered yes or no, and with a poem this short I felt that you might be better off with a question that opens out the ending. Where will I wake up? or When will I wake? or even just "waking?". That would create space within the confines of this small piece for the reader to float with the poet wherever they may be going.

Lovely little epigram. Well formed, well intentioned, and well written. There is probably a longer poem in this idea but this brevity does allow the reader to create their own story of tomorrow which in this instance works well.

I don't think that I reviewed the original, but to be honest I cannot tell you, that might be because it is so true that it never registered with me as I read it, it such seeped into my conciousness snug fit around similar ideas I hold to be true. Or it may be that there are so many poems on similar themes that they all blur into one. It is most likely, with all things like this, to be a combination of both. A balance between good and bad, yin and yang. And the reason why I explain it like th...

I was drawn to this piece by its title, I love all things mythological and Lilith is one of my favourite characters of our ancient past. I found this poem a bit distrubing though as I felt as if it could have been a lot darker without too much effort but it was like the poet chose to water down the mythology for the sake of being just a bit eerie and just a bit clever. I felt as if there could have been greater commitment to the cause, dangerous and exciting phrases like; "I am equal parts/fl...