Rugbyguy90's profile

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AGE: 20
LOC: Tacoma, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 15

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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Untitled, Chapter 2
Version 1
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What the Future Holds Julian walked out of the inn and headed down to the river where old man Marius lived. Everyone in the village thought that he was mad due to his insistent stories of being over 900 years old and all of the adventures he's had in his life. Julian didn't care if he was mad or not, he liked the stories, especially the one about Harlem Falison and the Tower of Dreams. It only took him a few minuets to reach the small cottage that Marius lived in, it was a small place built j...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Untitled, chapter 1
Version 2
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Strangers and Stories The walk to West Wood always took about half an hour. Julian liked the trips to town with his father, it made him fell like he was going somewhere and doing something important. Next year Julian would be trusted to do it by himself. Looking around the forest he noticed a little movement. Fixing his blue green eyes on the spot he lost it, flexing his arms on his bow and arrow he started to search the surrounding forest. “What is it Julian?” asked William, Julian's father....
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Untitled, chapter 1
Version 1
10 Reviews   0 Comments
Strangers and Stories The walk to West Wood always took about half an hour. Matt liked the trips to town with his father, it made him fell like he was going somewhere and doing something important and next year Matt would be trusted to do it by himself. Looking around the forest he noticed a little movement. Fixing his blue green eyes on the spot he lost it, flexing his arms on his bow and arrow he started to search the surrounding forest. “What is it Mathias?” asked William, Matt's father. “...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Anjali's song
This story part is a little confusing. When they talk of being silent, does that mean they don't sing or that they don't talk? Also it would help if you could also explain a little more about what being the fairest child means and the meaning to the song. With a little swork though you have a good set up for a great story.
This is very good so far. The only thing I think needs to be changed is the line "'This is interesting,' she said 'I wonder what would happen if we move closer the Kiln'", you should drop the last part from "I wonder...", but once again, good job.
Sorry i didn't havde time to read the rest but I like what I'm reading, you have plenty of descriptions, but instead of putting everything in one sentence try to spread them out between the other characters in comparison.
Short Story / Nightmare
It is a really good story but there are quite a few grammatical errors. A lot of sentences don't start with capitals and you have a few words spelt correctly but they are the wrong form of the word.
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Prologue
The beggining was a little confusing, mabey you could make it more apparent that Modeos, or Wiz is talking directly to the reader. Other then that though it is a very good set up and I look foreward to reading more.
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Wanderer's Awakening
Short Story / Fuge

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