That was deffinitley with out a doubt one of the best short story I have ever read! Keep writting I would like to see more stories from you in the future.

It was good and with a few gramatical corrections it could be great. You did a very good job of creating an alternate reality, I felt that I was right there with Fira, so once again good job.

I can relate and see where you were coming from. I live with my mom and we don't have much, so thank you for writing this.

The beggining was a little confusing, mabey you could make it more apparent that Modeos, or Wiz is talking directly to the reader. Other then that though it is a very good set up and I look foreward to reading more.

It is a really good story but there are quite a few grammatical errors. A lot of sentences don't start with capitals and you have a few words spelt correctly but they are the wrong form of the word.

Sorry i didn't havde time to read the rest but I like what I'm reading, you have plenty of descriptions, but instead of putting everything in one sentence try to spread them out between the other characters in comparison.

This is very good so far. The only thing I think needs to be changed is the line "'This is interesting,' she said 'I wonder what would happen if we move closer the Kiln'", you should drop the last part from "I wonder...", but once again, good job.

This story part is a little confusing. When they talk of being silent, does that mean they don't sing or that they don't talk? Also it would help if you could also explain a little more about what being the fairest child means and the meaning to the song. With a little swork though you have a good set up for a great story.