Ruthanne's profile

S2 - confusing - 'No care what teacher would.' Is this meant to be a fragment? I don't think you really need this here. Also, S3. It kind of makes me feel tongue tied. If that is the intent, great. Otherwise, I'd break it up. I love S4. 'Burnt legs, arms, and melted soles' - awesome!!! Beautiful imagery. Beautiful poem.

I had to read it a few times to really understand it.Not saying I don't think it's good, just a little difficult. Are you relating yourself to Minotaur? After the S6, it becomes vague. I think at this point it becomes a poem that can only relate to the person who knows the story behind the poem. The last stanza is almost cryptic. Who is she? Why did she leave? What wall did she force a break in? Make it more in-depth. Tell me the whole story without condensing it, only leave the flow of it in...

My only suggestion, separate metaphors - such as: 'beer honeyed cities sweat like little girlies glasses of lemonade for loving uncle named Sam' (my favorite stanza) This is of course only a personal preference though. Beautifully crafted, fluid wordplay. Bravo.