SIM's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Thailand
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 18
LOC: Thailand
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 18
I am an XPAT writer who is living in Thailand. My blog is www.siminoe.com. I really need help in the feedback category because living here where the local language is Thai it is very difficult for me to find readers who can truly appreciate or criticize my work. My writing is eclectic and ranges from comedy, life drama, literary, and even magical realism with a touch of modern fantasy. I have one book available on Amazon.com entitle NOTES FROM MANHATTAN and have just signed a contract on a book entitled ECHO POOL based on my experiences in Thailand which invoke memories of my hero, my mentor, my Dad and his agonizing battle with lung cancer.
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Version 1
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Dear Larry, The astropaths – their minds hold the gateway to anywhere and within the thoughts of anyone. The adventure begins with THOSE WHO HEAR a YA novel of about 57,000 words, which is the first book in the Journeys of the Astropaths series. I hope you will be interested in taking me on as a new client and helping me to develop this YA fantasy series. CODY GALLAS has always been able to remember, with uncanny detail, the places he visits, and he can draw them to scale. But u...
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Version 3
3 Reviews
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A Coffee House Run By Jonathon Siminoe Thomas sat patiently wedged in among a tangle of tables squeezed inside the Just Jo Coffee Shop in Bangkok’s Silom district. Only the daintiest of steppers, a virtual ballerina, could maneuver between the high backed iron-rod chairs and the black-iron tables with their imitation marble tops. Crowding the space further were the root like legs and feet of the chatting customers. He despised this place with its 80 baht premium imported coffees, its 100 bah...
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Version 3
4 Reviews
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SMOKE By Jonathon Siminoe Pon stepped out of the bright blue taxi, her pink skirt rising up and showing more than enough of her fair skinned thigh to catch the attention of the table full of office men sitting just outside the front doors of the Star Coffee Shop. She glanced about the patio and spotting Seth gave a smile, wave, and a bit of a curtsy. Seth acknowledged her with little enthusiasm and walked to the curb to meet her. “Where have you been? You’re late.” “Not so much. It’s Bangkok...
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Version 2
6 Reviews
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A Coffee House Run By Jonathon Siminoe Thomas sat patiently wedged in among a tangle of tables squeezed inside the Just Jo Coffee Shop in Bangkok’s Silom district. Only the daintiest of steppers, a virtual ballerina, could maneuver between the high backed iron-rod chairs and the black-iron tables with their imitation marble tops. Crowding the space further were the root like legs and feet of the chatting customers. He despised this place with its 80 baht premium imported coffees, its 100 bah...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
A Coffee House Run By Jonathon Siminoe www.siminoe.com Thomas sat patiently wedged in among a tangle of tables squeezed inside the Just Jo Coffee Shop in Bangkok’s Silom district. Only the daintiest of steppers, a virtual ballerina, could maneuver between the high backed iron-rod chairs and the black-iron tables with their imitation marble tops. Crowding the space further, was the root like legs and feet of the chatting customers. He despised this place with its 80 baht premium, imported coff...
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Fine start here. I love the touch leaves me cold and frustrated love is bold and falsely illustrated line. I kept going over it in my mind -- it's a fine piece of reality. But the lines that really held me were deaf and dumb followed by dead and numb. Great form, stylish and harkening back to the classics. I am a literary guy, and honestly lines like this always grip me. Nothing wrong with flow and form. I enjoyd it.
Some typos hurt the fluidity. I enjoyed the absolute risk taking, the honesty, and it essence this is poetry when one uses the words that mean the most to them for the situation at hand. An achievement here. I also believe that the melody of the piece sings for itself. And again, the honesty of the drug use -- metaphorical as it may be -- smacks of honest joy.
After your opening line, which I didn't like very much as it came across as too trite, the story takes on a real edge that I enjoyed a great deal. There is some diaologue that I felt was a little stiff, but again this warms up too as the story gets moving. S&M is an interesting venu for the murder and like Poe's Cask, its surprise is not unpredictable but it is none the less sinester and dark. I think you need to read the characters lines to each other and see if you can tighten them a bit, b...
This is as true a phrase as ever written. Clear insite and one which is right in front of our face can be the quotes that we really grip and use in our every day life.
I think the dialogue is natural for the characters age. They seem fun loving and humoris. They are also consistant and probably paint a picture of this world or game, of that I was never exactly sure. For me, not being a gamer, I was a bit lost.
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