ScorpionHunter's profile

ScorpionHunter avatar
AGE: 32
LOC: Lodi, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 23

I am a commercial truck driver by trade who has fallen in love with, and am now on a quest to master, the literary form known as Poetry. I’ve managed to get published in a couple of literary magazines, though my real goal is to someday be a serious writer, and publish a few collections of my work. I am not college educated, though that will soon change, as I am now in school. I’m going to major in English, as well as study everything I can get my hands on. Some of my biggest influences include Robinson Jeffers, Allen Ginsberg, Robert Bly, Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, Russell Edson, and, of course, the master himself, Edgar Allan Poe. My hobbies are Reading, Writing, Camping, Driving, Philosophy, listening to heavy metal, examining my head,...

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Poetry / Avian
I like how the diction is worked to sound like a blues poem. It reminds me a lot of Langston Hughes. My only critique is that the subject matter is unclear. Is the poem about the sparrow losing its mother or a lover? I suggest a rewrite firmly grounded on one subject. This works best in any poem.
Removed
Poetry / I AM LOVE
The rhythm isn’t really off, it just doesn’t try to accomplish anything. It’s so steady throughout the poem it nearly becomes an unpleasing monotone. There are, however, a few nice foot arrangements I liked. The progression is logical and sound, however, the “I” in this poem is obnoxiously loud, and terribly distracting to the point where it’s difficult to hear anything else except “I”. Because this poem is 100% tell and 0% show it’s extremely boring--- however, I think this is a great start ...
Interesting. Kinda funny. A few things sorta kills it for me. It's either a matter of bad grammar or unusual diction. Like: "...in one club or the other" Rather than "...in one club or another".
Nice. My only critique would be to change "in" of sentence 3 to "into" for the sake of decent grammar.
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Poetry / Night

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