Scribble's profile
AGE:
29
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 30
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 30
I have enjoyed creating stories from a young age but I never once thought it would be something I would develop a deep love for and pursue. I work within a completely different field (Dance) but the magic of opening a new book, a new story idea, developing an understanding of a character… pulls me back to Literature constantly.
I have read various different types of fiction and have enjoyed Romance, Thrillers, Chick Lit and Murder Mysteries. But Fantasy has been the only genre that has spurred me to write myself and forced me to take my craft seriously.
I do critique thoroughly and with honesty as I find it helps improve my craft as well the writers’ (hopefully). I try to give positive feedback, and make suggestions that I …
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Reviews
This is quite nice. I like the characters and the layout of your work. You write well and pull us along promptly. I am not aware of any device in Urbis yet that allows reviewers to read previous installments of work in the review queue. The simple fact is, whatever you submit needs to be a piece that can be understood within itself. With regards to this piece, it could be an opening chapter to me. It stands nicely on its own and there isn't anything that leaves me out on a ledge wondering wha...
I understand that this is chapter 2 and I havn't read chapter 1, but this piece seems very disjointed. Everytime there is a break in the text (indicated by the three asterisks), you jump from place to place without, in my opinion, keeping continuity with the character's state of mind. The first jump, I understood, but the second jump I was like 'whoa what's happening' for a bit until you backtracked and said what had been happening since the last section. If you are going to do that, what you...
Your writing is descriptive and invloved, which is nice, but a main issue here is over-wording and over-describing. You detail every single thing that Amelia does in this chapter and I really don't think it is necessary. At the beginning in the car, I was just shouting for her to get out so that something could start happening. It was frustratingly slow. Also you have at one point, she turned off the engine, and then at another point she turned off the ignition. I'm not sure why it matters th...
This has a nice feel to it. I like the ideas behind what you are exploring and you do well to introduce us to the events that are happening. But be careful to repeating the information you are giving us. We hear three times that Jack has been sucked into a black hole, (at the beginning by the unseen narrator, then in Jack's mind, then by the Captain) is it necessary so often? Tense is a issue you should be careful of... not until I had been comforted. I was tucked in and had had a nice warm p...
Loved it. This is really really good. I like your premise. I like the light and dark faeries, Edans motive, and the foreshadowing at the end. You write well but sometimes you over stated things, such as severely slicing the neck of his would-be deterrent ... we know the troll is a would-be deterrent - you just spent the last paragraph highlighing the fact! You could possibly be more descriptive, but your style works as is and thats not particularly necessary in a prologue anyway. You have a g...
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