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Serenity46's profile
AGE:
50
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 25
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 25
I love writing…it can take you to places noone or nothing else can, it opens the whole world of imagination and allows you the freedom to express yourself…..it calms the soul..Im not a harsh reviewer I believe there are others for that, I review peoples work on how it makes me feel and does it make me think, does it press against my conscience, does it make me cry. Every one of us here are writers with a gift, some learning and some already there. Be gentle they to are only expressing themselves.
Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
3 Comments
She remembered the daffodils, flying gently in the wind, each bowing their yellowed heads in a sweeping motion. Gentle breezes sensuous against her skin, tickling the hair nestled softly on the nape of her neck. The dry grass crackled with each step she took, the sun beating unmercifully down on her skin. An empty mind ,empty thoughts, nothing but stillness. She knew how lonely life could be, and that loneliness has become her bedmate and solace. Her thoughts became noones whereas once they b...
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Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
He touched the jacket , leathered and worn, holes protruding from memories all born, Gently he caressed the old dented helmet, glad he had never had to sell it. One more ride, one more road, heavy of heart heavy of load, he polished the bike with an oily old rag, took down his boots and packed a bag. he straddled the bike and let out a sigh, so much of life had passed him by, familiar vibrating touched his skin, the sense of freedom sinking within. closing his eyes , feeling her power, the pe...
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
The lonely window , quiet and calm, damp and silent, moist and sweet, i sit alone within my mind staring yonder , til we meet. beyond the mist, the pale sky, stands the castle of discourse, I see it within my minds eye, fills me with joy, touches remorse. grey skies, cold shadows, silent dusk. thinking of nothing , emptiness, bare, silence is rare , but it must, fill an emotion til u are there. Gentle hand reaching out, does it cross the eternal bridge, searching into me ,sadness i felt, time...
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Reve Reve What evolves, from crossing paths, with a soul who knows you best and you cannot see past them, Interacting, all the little things become a part of one, part of your creation and a true moment of choice. So comes the end of this existence where the real is honed, to the point that it succumbs, where the spin of dreams begin, Nothing here is real for me and yet a fractured place resists, where Earth and natures force are true, but now does not exist. Yet I know where to find you (for...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews
3 Comments
I walk into the waiting room full of insecurity and totally nervous...first instinct is to check out the competition, so with a practiced eye i survey all those within my vision...mmm they look a motley bunch i think as i smooth down my black waisted skirt, checking for any fluff sticking to it....I am told to take a seat and wait , they apologise for the late time and explain they are behind....go figga who isnt today weather it be a bank, post office or job interview theres always that awfu...
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I can see why this would be a favourite of yours it has a lot of potential, and thought in it. Apart from the few spelling and grammar errors, I think its perhaps a little repetitive and long when such a lovely verse could be structured for full impact in less lines. However in saying this, I also say well done and I love your style of work. Maybe you could look at making it far more outreaching and powerful with a few changes.
hey this was really descriptive and I enjoyed reading it however theres some parts I could not flow with, such as, "weary parents watch their children play in half-dried mud puddles and little plastic pools while nowhere seem safe as the air-conditioner began to complain and there is no end in sight for the lawn grass that now lay tan and brown from the heat-abuse. You need to rewrite this part as it makes little sense, perhaps just a few touch ups with your grammar. Good reading though and t...
ok nobody likes a long drawn out introduction so this is not to bad.. I like the way you have given the reader an idea of what they will see and read on entry to the site.The backbone ..if you will. It was written in a way I understand, it was interesting and made me as the reader want to go look and see more, seek a little. Maybe work on your layout a little and I'm sure other reviewers may suggest your grammar, apostrophes, etc etc and that stuff. However I always look and review on content...
angst of the young, but what a choice to write it all down. 16 years old?, i think you have written it with a lot of thought and for this I shall not give it a review on errors but more on content. You have the ability to write with heart, mind and spirit, something I love to see in one so young. At 16 many emotions boil up inside and no outlet, capture it all on paper as you have done and let the creative part of yourself work for you. Well written and I for one had no problem in following a...
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