ShadeWalker's profile

I thought your story was very good. The shortened lines made it move at a believable pace, and the conversations sounded real. However, I was unsure of what the numbers at the top of each section were supposed to represent. I originally thought that they were a countdown of days, but that didn't seem to fit. I like how they divide each section; it clearly shows that the text is not meant to be lumped together as one time. If they stood for anything in specific though, that was not clear. Also...