Shadowboxer's profile
AGE:
43
LOC: Columbus, WI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
LOC: Columbus, WI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
I’m working on two novels and appreciate any and all feedback.
“The Agoraphobic’s Guide to Cairo” [working title] is the mostly light-hearted account of a year I lived in Egypt and took in a hellraising Siamese cat.
“Below Sea Level” is the “heartwarming and engaging” account of 9 years with an loving yet abusive alcoholic husband who suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. It is not a sympathy work, rather one I hope will prevent at least one person from making the same mistakes I did in trying to fix the unfixable.
My Blog:My Own Private Idaho
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Version 2
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Horses rebuild soul dismantled by humans.
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Life bites boob in the ass.
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Be careful what you ask for.
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One day, without any real forethought, I stopped at the Home Depot on the way home from work and bought two cans of brightly colored spray paint. They keep that aisle locked at the store, so I had to wait a few minutes before someone was available to open it. The clerk did not ask me what I needed the paint for. I suppose I looked innocent enough. Not the profile of a sniffer, gang tagger, or anything remotely like that. The cans rolled back and forth with each other in the passenger seat of ...
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Standing over the dead body of the dog that meant more to us as a couple than any other animal we had yet to own, I am not believed. We are burying Sage—a Dalmatian-Brittany spaniel cross I had rescued eight years prior that Eric grew to love as one would love a child, loved in certain ways more than me—under a circle of pines and the ever-shedding Eucalyptus tree, to protect her forever from the wicked Arizona sun. But there are roots, and they are making the process difficult—close to impos...
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As a new writer, you hit right on many of the questions that brought me here. Hit a little too close to home--probably too close to give you a worthwhile review. Doesn't look like you are asking for one, anyway. I find you lose me in parts--more from your choice of organization than the ideas presented. Again, possibly my fault. But you are crystal clear on some points, such as driving home the fact that we are not taught to write fiction, but focus less than I would hope on where one can go ...
That was intense and had a great twist. I was so sure I knew where that was going, until near the end. Your writing itself is superb, especially your descriptive phrasing. That image of his cigarette smoke that "crashed into the headliner above" was fantastic. You also did a great job of building plot, tension and character with a very seamless style. I envy your talent. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future--and maybe learn something about writing from them.
This is a very powerful story, and forcefully written. The pain and anger of rejection come through very loud and clear. There is a bit of cliche to some of it, and that is something which is difficult to avoid when telling such a universal story. I think more details about her character before this point might help differentiate this from similar storylines. Why was this guy such an Angel? It had to be mroe than giving her a rose now and then. Why did she invest so much hope in their future?...
This is very touching and enjoyable. I like how you convey your feelings for the dog via your detailed description of him and his affectionate actions. I also enjoyed the way you illustrated your jealousy of nature, who seems to have lured the dog away from you just as you were growing used to his presence. Nice portrait of loneliness, a loneliness only the loss of an animal can trigger. Last review of the night and my fatigue shows. I apologize. I think this is extremely well-written and I e...
I like the fast pace of this story. It does carry you through it very nicely, despite a few cliches here and there. I like the informal, conversational tone that is present throughout. The dialogue from the father is somewhat jarring--almost too much, or a little overdone. I prefer hearing about him via the narrator's description, which is more fluid and stylistic. The ending does, of course, leave the reader hanging, so I am reassured when you say there is much more. I will be watching for it!
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