SimonJD's profile
AGE:
37
LOC: New Zealand
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 07
LOC: New Zealand
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 07
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Version 1
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'Satellite' By Simon Doherty INT APARTMENT HALLWAY DAY A very ordinary front door. We hear muffled talking, then the sound of someone rifling through a lot of keys. Eventually we hear the door being unlocked, then opened. JULIAN, the letting agent, enters first, talking loudly over his shoulder to RICH, who blankly shuffles in and closes the door behind him. Julian is young, over-eager and smartly dressed in a cheap sort of way. Rich is slightly older, under-fed and looks like he sleeps in hi...
Version 1
1 Review
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The Solution Clear and perfect. The answer coursed through him so suddenly that he leapt from his chair and started off down the service tunnel before even really thinking about what he was doing. He had also forgotten to turn off the sun-lamp at the Map Station, and for a second considered going back, before he realized that it wouldn't matter now. Grant was always at him about saving the bulbs at the Map Stations. Grant was always at him about everything. But Grant didn't matter now either....
Version 1
4 Reviews
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An Account Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays i sit at the tables. Tuesdays and Thursdays i sit in the rows. The plastic table in front of me is raised at the edges to prevent your tea or coffee or paper-work from sliding off onto the floor if the train stops suddenly or banks round a corner, and if i had a marble or maybe a ball-bearing i could put it in the exact centre of the table and let it loop and curve as it wanted. The train would give it life. The boy in front of me is a student, i can...
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Reviews
Loved it. Absolutlely loved it. Funny, tragic and a bit disturbing...whats not too like? The overall feeling i got was that it felt like the beginning of a novel, or at least a much longer peice. Have you thought about that? If the quality of the writing in this story is indicitive of your talent, then i think you definitely have what it takes to make it work as a longer novel. You have a lightness of touch that keeps the pace moving beautifully and a wonderful descriptive talent. Keep it up!...
Hey there, I think that the main feeling that I got form this peice is that you are a good writer who is basically trying too hard. Just relax and write for yourself and no-one else...its a lot more fun believe me.
Hey there, I really enjoyed this, you have a very light touch, but a very beautiful one and very readable. It reminded me of 'Haruki Murakammi' for obvious reasons. What happened to Yun, tho? She dissapears in the story...did you mean that? I could understand if you did, but I think you've maybe missed an emotional punch by letting her go...but thats just me tho. You have a real talent, and a good eye for a story. Good luck, Simon
Well thanks Jay. As David Bowie said, the most important thing he thought he ever sung was 'Youre not alone'. More and more I'm feeling that if I'm doing anything less than screaming into the void, then I'm not writing from the heart. As soon as i start thinking about an audience other than me, me, me my work starts to stink. I think we should create for ourselves and for ourselves alone, the reader or viewer would expect nothing less. i know i dont.
Hey there, Is this piece part of a larger work? It really feels like it is, if it isnt, then I think it should be. I enjoyed the first paragraph, but I felt that the second should've been longer, to get more of a sense of what you were trying to say, and because I was enjoying reading it i guess. You have a very readable, almost conversational style that I, for one, find really difficult to get to, but very enjoyable. Keep it up!
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